Let’s Arm Our Cities Against Ourselves

Let's Arm Our Cities Against Ourselves
San Francisco is debuting a new UV coated paint that repels liquid in an attempt to get people to stop pissing on walls in the city. Apparently if you piss on a wall coated with this German engineered paint your piss will bounce off at a high rate of speed and you’ll get drenched in your ...

Stephanie Guthrie And The Age Of Feminist Entitlement

Stephanie Guthrie And The Age Of Feminist Entitlement
A court case in Canada is shedding light onto just how entitled and unreasonable certain members of the feminist movement have become. The term feminist, if these lunatics have their way, will come to be associated with the humorless draconian ideologues who dominate the Twittersphere and not with reasonable people seeking progress. These extremists are ...

Is Ann Coulter Denying Being A Dude? 2

Is Ann Coulter Denying Being A Dude?
Professional troll, race baiter, historical revisionist and winking bigot Ann Coulter recently came out and said he would “Sue every website or commentator that suggests I’m transgender.” This came as a shock to me. Of course Ann Coulter isn’t transgender. He’s a dude. The term transgender suggests Coulter ever had a vagina. Are you calling us morons here? ...

Is Caitlyn Jenner Setting A Healthy Standard?

Is Caitlyn Jenner Setting A Healthy Standard?
  I couldn’t help but notice something was leaking out of Caitlyn Jenner’s nose during her ESPY speech, which was able to successfully cast Jenner as an activist for the trans community, when in fact this cookie cutter speech, a cheap promotional stunt on the part of ESPN to harness the Kardashian name and attain ratings for their ...

The Erstwhile Scavenger

The Erstwhile Scavenger
The handle of the old pump let out a sigh of bemusement as I nestled it from its cradle, the oxide disappearing into the wind like confetti. I eyed the heavy thighed Mexican across the sodden cattle road in a poor attempt to understand his motives. “We’re heading North anyway” She craned her neck, pretending to jockey for the ...

Donald Trump Leading In Asshole Demographic

Donald Trump Leading In Asshole Demographic
Donald Trump is gaining momentum among likely Republican primary voters and is currently leading the polls in North Carolina. Trump is doing well with people who identify as ‘very conservative’ (66%), as well as younger voters (29%) and men (20%). He is also killing it in the ‘asshole’ demo (100%), as well as the publicly racist contingency ...

Ariana Grande Just Piledrived America

Ariana Grande is a ratchety midget who is signed to a major music label in their quest to appeal to pedophiles, that’s why she wears the cat ears. She’s also twelve and probably thinks they’re cool. She’s an idiot. Grande recently went to a donut shop with her genderqueer boyband reject do-rag wearing backup dancer boyfriend ...

What The Confederate Flag Really Means Now

What The Confederate Flag Really Means Now
There are two sides to the debate over what the Confederate flag symbolizes. Republican types say it stands for pickup trucks, drinking beer in the sun, and boiled peanuts. This is clearly not the case and the early adopters of the Confederacy would have been appalled by your homoerotic tight jeaned country singers. The other side says ...

Can Kevin Hart Save The Oscars By Being Black?

Can Kevin Hart Save The Oscars By Being Black?
Most self respecting humans see the Oscars as a masturbatory snooze fest that is a once a year annoyance dedicated to celebrating films solely based on the themes of AIDS and Alzheimer’s. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is a group of people as superbly lame and pretentious as that monicker would suggest. What ...

The Rose McGowans Are Bad For Feminism

The Rose McGowans Are Bad For Feminism
It’s sometimes difficult to distinguish legitimate feminists from self congratulatory idiots who parrot study session talk from their 1o1 Women’s Studies classes. Are you genuinely concerned about injustice or are you simply underemployed and generally frustrated? While there are still legitimate concerns in the realm of feminism, the discourse is increasingly dominated by blathering fools who ...