Nobody Likes Your Dog 1

Nobody Likes Your Dog
Was at the movie theater yesterday and noticed this self involved survivor had brought his dog into the theater. Not just any dog, but a German Shepherd, a police dog which conjures up unwelcome memories of Birmingham or Cape Town for some. Businesses are forced to allow entitled self identifying victims to tote their dogs ...

How Neo-Progressive Yuppy Anti Vaxers Cause Climate Change

How Neo-Progressive Yuppy Anti Vaxers Cause Climate Change
There is currently an outbreak of whooping cough in the LA area. Whooping cough, or pertussis, has been pretty highly contained since the 1940’s, when people way smarter than your average Prius driving ankle tattooed fuck tard developed a vaccine for it. A vaccine is a thing that mobilizes one’s immune system against a common ...

West Hollywood Public Artist Confirms Fears

West Hollywood Public Artist Confirms Fears
Earlier I wrote a musing about how artist Shana Mabari‘s public art sculptures which cost the city of West Hollywood $24,000 dollars are probably shill advertising for corporate banks. I theorized this because the resemblance is uncanny and also because I have this gnawing notion that banks are increasingly looking to mark their presence wherever possible, and ...

The Big Banks Occupation Of LA 1

The Big Banks Occupation Of LA
Everyone in America seems to have a basic understanding of how the constantly merging big banks are screwing us. Failing that, they at least understand that it is happening, that Obama is cool with it, and that there is really nothing to be done because the people we elect tell us we need them. Following the ...

My Hearfelt Apology For My Racial Rant

My Hearfelt Apology For My Racial Rant
I am not perfect. Like many others in positions of power, I am often secretly recorded by people I trust. My loved ones and assistants regularly leak my displays of political incorrectness to the media. I don’t know why this is, but apparently they really hate me even though I’m a really good dude. But then ...

West Hollywood Makes Personal Trainers Sweat

A friend of mine is a personal trainer and recently told me that West Hollywood is on the verge of making it illegal for her to train someone in a public park without a permit. Many cities in the county have already done the same. The law would impose fines for those who get paid ...

Its Jaybird’s Wing World 1

Its Jaybird's Wing World
Growing up in Fairbanks Alaska we had a few local celebrities but none as intriguing as Jaybird. Jaybird was a tall gangly guy with a big nose who I first noticed when I was eight years old dressed as a chicken mascot and parading on court during half time of a North Pole High School ...

Policemen Aren’t Sexy For A Reason

Policemen Aren't Sexy For A Reason
  I recently read a study examining why firefighters are considered to be symbols of sexuality among women. It theorized that women are instinctively drawn to firefighters because they rescue people, and kitties. They are symbols of valiance. Your estrogen suggests they could swoop in and whisk you away to ecstasy the same way they scoop up ...

Stop DUI Checkpoints 2

Stop DUI Checkpoints
I ran into horrible traffic on Sunset this Saturday because there was a DUI checkpoint. Not only are these bastards infringing on our basic rights, but by blocking off the street their reach is now effecting us outside of having our 4th amendment trampled. I was late for my movie because people whose salaries I pay have ...

Breastfeeding Is Not Really Heroic 1

Breastfeeding Is Not Really Heroic
Posting public breastfeeding pics to social media has become all the rage. Its an odd issue to take a stand on since it is legal and encouraged in every state of the union, being opposed solely by obese puritans who nobody listens to even when they have megaphones. Most Americans have zero issue with it, but would ...