When I Realized the Left is Full of Jackasses

I actually prefer the term progressive, and this is how I would refer to myself when asked to explain my leanings in one word, but herein lies the problem of this generalization. Progressiveness isn’t a political party, nor a concise ideology. Progressives, I had always assumed, are a faction of people who don’t like the ...

Recent Gullibles. 1

These are a few things people believed me say recently when I selfishly lying for my own amusement. 1) The actor Willem Dafoe is a completely different person from actor WILLIAM Dafoe (who isn’t a real person.) Also notice the slight differential in spelling the name. Willem is similar to William. Anyway, both of them ...

I went to read an article and THIS happened!!!

Nothing happened. I’m really tired of this shit. I hate this new phenomenon. It’s not especially pressing, but it is an annoying thing that has become ubiquitous and slightly degrades our quality of life. I’m referring to these bating spam type of trivial filler bullshit drivel that seems to be dominating the Huff Po. This ...

The L.A. Sheriff’s Department Killed John Winkler and is Lying 2

Very sad news, as John Winkler, a young guy who had recently moved to L.A., was shot by a member of the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department in his building in West Hollywood. At this time it is unclear whether all or just one of the officers involved is lying about what actually happened. By all ...

Why I am Apparently Racist 67

I didn’t know I was. I’ve never really harbored any racist views, but maybe I am not impartial to myself. I had no idea that I’ve been walking around as a racist for years now until I was informed by Shelby Fero¬†who fancies herself a real hero of the disenfranchised huddling masses yearning to breathe ...

Why The Subway Sandwich Company Thinks Their Customers Are Stupid (And Are Probably Correct.) 1

Why The Subway Sandwich Company Thinks Their Customers Are Stupid (And Are Probably Correct.)
I’m not counting airports and truck stops, but if you live in an urban area and frequent Subway, you might be retarded. There is a family owned restaurant within a square mile that will give you a sandwich three times as good for one (1) additional dollar. That additional dollar comes into play despite the ...

Why I am Extorting an Independent Pizza Restaurant 10

Why I am Extorting an Independent Pizza Restaurant
Why? Because I need to. And I am not extorting money. I am extorting pizza. Which, after checking with my lawyer, is perfectly legal. Here’s the deal, the other day, I bought a large pizza, which, in Los Angeles, runs you about thirty bucks. I picked it up, and this is what I got: Do ...

Why I Was Not Shocked when Adam Richmond was Charged with Sexual Assault 39

Why I Was Not Shocked when Adam Richmond was Charged with Sexual Assault
I’m not trying to slander anyone here, and yet… In the L.A. comedy scene, everyone is aware of who one another is, whether or not you pretend otherwise. I had said hello to Richmond a few times, but the first time we actually talked was at the Improv in Irvine, CA, when we were on ...

When Bullying is Totally Appropriate 2

I recently saw a segment on CNN which featured an extremely poignant and hard-hitting investigative piece about a nine year old kid who wears a My Little Pony backpack to school and is bullied because of it. Obviously. How could you expect to wear a My Little Pony backpack to school and not be made ...

The War Against the Middle Class as Evidenced by KFC

There seems to be a big debate going on right now about whether the orchestrated demise of the middle class is a real thing or not, between people who read facts and people who don’t. The major banks which hold the majority of Americans’ declining savings have found a way to make taxpayers fiance their ...