Why Police Brutality Affects All Of Us

Why Police Brutality Affects All Of Us
My name is Matt Ralston. I was born and raised in the enclave of Fairbanks Alaska. I am a white guy. I have never struggled. My parents paid for my college education, and in times of need have even sent me checks. After college I moved to Los Angeles where I live now. These are ...

Why Aren’t The Networks Airing Obama’s Immigration Speech?

Why Aren't The Networks Airing Obama's Immigration Speech?
I found it strange none of the major TV networks are airing Obama’s speech announcing landmark immigration reform. A quick recap of what they will be showing in that time slot instead: ABC: Grey’s Anatomy followed by Scandal. This should be a great ep of Grey’s! I heard McDreamy is going to perform surgery on ...

An Open Letter To Jack Seiler 7

An Open Letter To Jack Seiler
Jack Seiler is the scumbag Democratic mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He supports the multiple citations of $500 dollars and notice to appear in court of 90 year old Arnold Abbott, who has been organizing feedings of the city’s homeless population for over twenty years. Seiler has made feeding the homeless illegal in Fort Lauderdale ...

Why Aren’t Comedians Funny Anymore? 1

Since when did comedians start taking themselves so seriously? The word ‘comedy’ is built into the profession. If you wanted to spend your time parsing words and getting self satisfyingly angry maybe you should have become a preacher or district attorney’s assistant or something. I think there is a dangerous precedent being set in America ...

The Problem With That Catcalling Video 10

The moral of this video is this: If you walk around NYC for ten hours you’re going to inevitably run into some horrendous creeps. If they aren’t aggressively yelling compliments at women, sometimes in a rapey fashion, they’ll be asking you for money or calling you ‘tough guy’ or ‘fag’ or whatever else losers do. ...

Why I Can Dress As Ray Rice For Halloween

Why I Can Dress As Ray Rice For Halloween
Ray Rice recently said he is “Praying for the people” who are dressing as Ray Rice for Halloween. I’m sure they are eternally grateful. Let me make a bold assumption: The people dressing as Ray Rice for Halloween aren’t woman beaters. It would kind of draw too much attention to yourself. The people who beat ...

Is Honey Boo Boo Still Funny? 1

Is Honey Boo Boo Still Funny?
I never had an ethical problem sitting down to watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo so I could gawk at some disgusting obese tragedies of the Civil War spit out inane jokes fed to them by deservedly patronizing on-set producers. The irony is said producers probably think they’re really sophisticated and smart comparatively. Based on ...

My iPhone Creeps Me Out

My iPhone Creeps Me Out
I was recently shipped a new iPhone, the first one I have owned. Right away it started to creep me out. When I turned it on the first thing it asked me was to login to iCloud. I didn’t know what the iCloud was but its Orwellian name made me inherently suspect. Are you telling me ...

Racist People Gravitate Towards Football 6

Racist People Gravitate Towards Football
Last year I wrote an article abuot how its a strange coincidence the NFL is 67 percent black, and its most prestigious position, quarterback, is 79 percent white. Its one of those elephants in the room I find hard to ignore. Particularly when my mind is wandering during a six hour blowout. Statistically this is an ...

Gone Girl Sucks

Gone Girl Sucks
Spoiler Alert: Gone Girl sucks. Its a movie about a crazy woman who thinks she is dirty and salacious because she bangs her husband. Her husband is Ben Affleck, played by Ben Affleck. He displays some serious acting chops as he is able to switch from being half pudgy to WWF roided out of his ...