August 2014 - Matt Ralston's Blog

West Hollywood Makes Personal Trainers Sweat

Aug

27

2014

A friend of mine is a personal trainer and recently told me that West Hollywood is on the verge of making it illegal for her to train someone in a public park without a permit. Many cities in the county have already done the same. The law would impose fines for those who get paid ...

Its Jaybird’s Wing World 1

Aug

21

2014

Growing up in Fairbanks Alaska we had a few local celebrities but none as intriguing as Jaybird. Jaybird was a tall gangly guy with a big nose who I first noticed when I was eight years old dressed as a chicken mascot and parading on court during half time of a North Pole High School ...

Policemen Aren’t Sexy For A Reason

Aug

17

2014

I recently read a study examining why firefighters are considered to be symbols of sexuality among women. It theorized that women are instinctively drawn to firefighters because they rescue people, and kitties. They are symbols of valiance. Your estrogen suggests they could swoop in and whisk you away to ecstasy the same way they scoop up ...

Stop DUI Checkpoints 2

Aug

11

2014

I ran into horrible traffic on Sunset this Saturday because there was a DUI checkpoint. Not only are these bastards infringing on our basic rights, but by blocking off the street their reach is now effecting us outside of having our 4th amendment trampled. I was late for my movie because people whose salaries I pay have ...

Breastfeeding Is Not Really Heroic 1

Aug

6

2014

Posting public breastfeeding pics to social media has become all the rage. Its an odd issue to take a stand on since it is legal and encouraged in every state of the union, being opposed solely by obese puritans who nobody listens to even when they have megaphones. Most Americans have zero issue with it, but would ...