I get asked at least one of these questions every time I meet a stranger and tell them I’m from Alaska.
1) So, is it like, light all the time?
Yes. In Alaska the sun shines all day and night for the entire year. The sun revolves around it.
2) What is Alaska like?
Alaska? There are so many parts. Even though Prudhoe Bay is over 1500 miles from Ketchikan, you’re just going to lump them in together? Would you ask someone in Atlanta what it was like in Fargo? That would be less distance. Look at this:
3) What did you parents do for work there?
My Dad worked for Santa Claus and my Mom worked at Sizzler.
4) Did you ever see any bears?
Yes, they were very friendly after I told them I was related to Timothy Treadwell.
5) What did you do for fun there?
Mostly plot terrorist attacks against the contiguous United States.
6) How are you cold right now, aren’t you from Alaska?
Yes, since I grew up in a cold environment my genes have been permanently altered. I’m actually glad I wore this V-neck into this thunderstorm. It is brilliant reasoning to think one might become cold not based a lack of insulation, body fat, bone density, or several other factors, and instead assume that they are permanently conditioned to the average December Low of where they were raised like some lame X-Men character. Well done.
7) Did you go to school up there?
No. Like most children in Alaska, I received a scholarship to go to kindergarten at K.U. Then I chose a boarding school in the closest neighboring state, which was 2000 miles away. I would commute back to Alaska on weekends. I actually found it more convenient to be born in another state as well, but I was still able to get Alaska on my birth certificate because Jimmy Hoffa was buried in my backyard and I knew how to pull some moves.
8) What do you think about Sarah Palin?
I love Sarah Palin. As an Alaskan I am contractually obligated to loyally support anyone who has lived in my state, no matter how embarrassing or irrelevant they may be. I am actually a huge supporter of the guy who busted the windshield of my car with a baseball bat when I was in high school as well. Are you from Alabama? What do you think about George Wallace and Foghorn Leghorn?
9) Do you still have family up there?
No. Like most people my entire extended family travels by caravan, and when one of us moves the rest follow and set up a makeshift community of alcoholics.
10) Was it really cold there?
No. As you can see by this map, Alaska is an island in the Pacific Ocean.
Bonus: How long have you been on the West Coast?
Uh, look at this again and get back to me.
So good I was laughing out loud.
Thanks
My mom also worked at Sizzler
Frickin hilarious!!
you forgot the always asked
“do you have a pet penguin/reindeer/polar bear?”
Funny, someone once asked me if I had lived in an igloo, I laughed, then realized they weren’t kidding.
when do they turn that aurora thing on? can you see it in the summer?
Forgot that we all hunt whales and ride dogsleds
My favorite stupid question is “Do you live in an igloo?”
In contrary to 1) Alaska have day long light on in the summer, summer equinox is about to occur which will be the longest day of the year. After that we will start losing day light. In the winter we have complete darkness. Sarah Palin is a fine woman by the way.
Bullshit!
Bull shit had more attractive qualities.
Uh???
As in the shit from a bull had more attractive qualities than that of Sarah Palin.
Hey now. She’s kinda sorta hot. She’s just really stupid.
For once I agree with you God. DP Sarah Palin?
Really? Where in Alaska do you live? Here in Anchorage, while it doesn’t get pitch black like it does in, say, January, it does get quite dark(ish) every night, it just happens after midnight and only for a few hours this time of year.
And whaddya know!?! The exact opposite happens in basically the same way in the wintertime! (gasp!)
Also: I hate to break it to you (mostly because you say it like it is an Alaska only thing), but the equinox happens everywhere on the planet. That’s why it’s an equinox. They usually indicate the start of a season…
And while I don’t know Mrs. Palin personally, it’s probably best to reserve judgment on what type of person she is. But as an Alaskan, I have no such reservation in saying that she flat-out quit her job to move on (literally in this case, to Arizona, last I heard) to greener pastures (and bigger paychecks) outside of Alaska, rather than seeing her duly-elected term through. I suppose one can draw their own conclusions from that scenario. :/
Yes she wasn’t the best employee. Also that thing about her having horrifying and borderline dangerous political beliefs.
January? Really I’m from wasilla and no it does not get dark at midnight in January.
Contrary to your contrary, Alaska does get dark in the summer and has daylight in the winter. Number of hours of each, of course, depends on where live within the state. SE Alaska gets dark around 11pm in the summer and around 4pm in the winter, give or take.
*where you live
Alaskans obviously don’t know how to spell either…
We can spell “TROLL” ape boy.
Born and Raised in Fairbanks, Ak. Moved to Texas…this is what I heard. “Hey have you seen a penguin? ” dude wait they aren’t a different country? “So you lived in a igloo?”. ” so is it like really cold there” and a lot of more stupid Questions..
When people learn I was born in Alaska they have actually asked me if I am an American citizen.
“You were born in Alaska? How are you not melting down here?!” and “Could you see Russia and Canada from where you lived?” are also frequent questions for me.
Cant count how many times ive been asked if everyone rides on dogsleds
My favorate question was always about the exchange rate for Alaskan currency.
My all time fav, having lived in a few states since leaving Alaska, “I know someone from Alaska, maybe you know them?” Yes I have all 600,000 Alaskans on speed dial, we’re tight like that.
Yeah that one should go in part 2, haha.
Funny! You know, though, I worked on a farm in Palmer in 1983, and the farmer there — who had a very unusual last name — had actually received a piece of mail addressed only to his name and “Alaska,” and it had gotten to him! Amazing…. Also, I live in Illinois and recently got to know a fellow from North Carolina. It turns out we both know the same random person who lives outside of Anchorage! What are the chances?!!! Well, I guess that 600,000 AK speed dial thing is doing its job…. ;-D
That’s amazing. I guess government employees in Alaska actually do their jobs. I had to call the DMV recently and was amazed that someone just answered the phone.
I was asked how we alaskan natives become men or adults? my answer, well the elderly tribesmen select strong twelve young men out to the frozen ocean to find a polar bear only armed with a knife and bring it home dead.
Haha. I thought it involved chugging a bottle of bootlegged Popov.
It is truly amazing the lack of knowledge about Alaska. I have been asked all of the questions that everyone else has posted. The one that kills me is about penguins. Go back to elementary school! Another one is “How do you get there?” Seriously? My answers: You get on an airplane and the pilot knows where to go. or Yes, you can drive. Alaska is connected to the rest of North America.
I once had a woman ask me where does she exchange her U.S. currency for Alaska money… Needless to say I sent her to the post office and they calmed her down and then she came storming back and said how dare I make her feel dumb.Gee lady you did that on your own.
Stupid and arrogant, always a great combo.
I spent a summer living in Juneau, and I think this had to be my favorite exchange.
Person steps off a cruise ship onto the dock.
Cruise ship patron: “So, what elevation are we at?”
Me: Looks down at water “Um, about six feet I guess.”
Haha. The elevation at sea level. I would just want to push them off the dock.
Inside Passage,What is the name of the river out there??? Pacific Ocean!!!
I have had several people ask me if we use American dollars or not.
I also had a lady in the Seattle airport ask me how much gasoline was. When I told her, she asked me if that was by the gallon.
Lol. No it’s five dollars a liter. What an idiot.
im emplyed by the alaska marine hi way. some comments are as follows.ferryworkorkers hear stuff like how far are we above sea level?how old do deer have to be before they become an elk?where are all the moose do you put them in the barns at nite?what time do the whales show up?? do you keep a pet penguin? hahahahaha
Haha. Deer turn into elk. Love it.
Worked as a greeter for the cruise ships in Ketchikan Alaska for a season. Top three dumb questions (and some comments too)
Q: “How high above sea level are we?”
A: (As I look over the side of the dock) “Well the tide is out… So about eight feet…”
Q: (By a passenger walking off the gangplank) “How long until we arrive in Alaska?”
A: “About two days ago.”
Q: “What’s the name of this lake?”
A: ” The Pacific Ocean.”
(This was followed by… “See dear I told you Canadians were polite.” WTF?!)
The most often question asked would be “Is it true you guys get paid to live there??” (PFD)
I was asked if we take American Money…
Nope, we only trade with furs.
My current favorite question I’ve heard is, “At what elevation do deer turn into moose?”
I’ve also told people that when the snow does melt, we just put roller skate wheels onto our dog sleds so we can still get around.
I heard a really good one once. “Why is the weather so different here than it is in Hawaii when they’re so close together?”. I’ve also been asked “do you guys take American money or just Canadian?”
I think you should reply, “why yes, as much as we can get from you!”
When I was going to college in the lower 48..I told someone I was from Alaska and he said: “man.. I heard they pay you just to live there! You don’t have to work! I’m so going to move there!”
Me: “Yes..you get money the minute you cross the border and then a check in the mail every month after that. NOT!!” Really?!
I feel like some of these responses are just being an asshole. some people actually know nothing about Alaska. You should be happy anyone even gives a fuck you’re from Alaska and wants to know what its like and what you’re life there was about.
Some people don’t know anything about anything and fall below the intelligence curve. Often times this inability to see eye to eye with people makes them angry. They walk around kind of frustrated because they don’t ‘get’ stuff. And they’re too dim to really learn how to interpret their anger, so they just act real aggressive and piss off the people above the curve. I think you are that guy.
Lmao!! That is too funny!!!
Chris, those were my first thoughts as well when reading the responses to the silly questions.
I spent 25 years in Fairbanks and loved every one of those years. I heard a bus driver Denali Park say that a tourist asked her how much Denali weighed. Driver responded “with or without snow?”
How much does it weigh?
The tourist leaving the cruise ship who asked what is the elevation here probably meant what is the latitude here. To paraphrase a common expression, ignorance of the language is no excuse.
No really, we get asked that question all the time! It’s because of all the beautiful 4000+ ft. Mountains jutting right out of the sea.
I had someone ask me how long the bridge was to get to Alaska(since it is near Hawaii and Texas), they were moving here. I also had a relative visit and she asked ny aunt in Oregon if she could drive up and visit, you know, since Canada isn’t in the way or anything.
Amazing.
My favorite question is “Are you Native Alaskan?” I’m pale Irish white so I look at them and say, “No, I’m white.”
Oh yeah, I got asked if I was native a few times, but I worked with a bunch of natives.
I had the pleasure of visiting Anchorage, Alaska on a mission trip last July. My mom, who is 69 asks me several questions before my trip. Keep in mind, she has not ventured far from the south.
1. What language do they speak there? I replied Alaskianian, but we will have translators.
2. Do you also have to stay in an igloo? I replied, yes, but the have central heating and air in them.
What time zone are you in?
Me: the Alaska time zone.
No, what Is the time zone called?
Me: the Alaska time zone.
No, Like, Eastern, central, pacific?
Me: Alaska
I drove my car from Alaska to Florida for school…common comments as follows: Why don’t you have the metals sporks coming out your tires. Is life just like Alaska State Troopers/Any other Alaska TV show. Oh, my personal favorite, isn’t it illegal to drive a foreign car in America?
If someone asks me jokingly if I can see Russia from my house again, I’m gonna lose it.
I grew up (grades 7-12) in Anchorage. I once took a picture of an igloo (which was specially made for tourists to see) so that I could show my Texan cousins what my house looked like! Then I would also show a picture of my REAL house!
The question I was most asked? Do you live in an igloo. Yep, here’s a picture. LOL!!!!!
“contiguous”, not “continental”…
I noticed that after I read it. What a hypocrite I am, making fun of people and everything. I am going to change it and give YOU credit.
Native Alaskan- Someone born in Alaska. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_soli is a more appropriate term.
Alaskan Native- someone who can trace their ancestry to the native peoples of Alaska- regardless of where they currently live.
I actually never knew the difference. Just went with the generic ‘native.’
I’ve lived in Ketchikan for over 20 years. I still get asked about it being light 24 hours a day, is it cold all the time, etc. I’ve been asked about how high we are above sea level and if we take American money. When asked about all the snow we get, I have to explain (which is understandable) that I live in the SE panhandle and we are in a rain forest.
While working on charter boats out of southeast, I was asked:
“Why do you raise and lower the ramps to the dock? They’re practically level in the morning, and really steep in the evening?”
“You can see the waves coming, can’t you just steer around them?”
“What’s the elevation here?”
Rudest question I’ve been asked while working a tourist shop in Ketchikan (I am Alaska Native btw) was “where’s one of them Indian graves?” Me: “you mean like a native cemetery? ”
Jerky italian-ish tourist: “yeah, for those beads”
Me:”nearest one is 30 miles away by canoe and it’s only open in December” to which he answered :”too bad”
We finished the transaction, he went on his ignorant merry way, but I’ll never forget that interaction. .
I lived in Fairbanks for 10 years and I have had someone from Texas come in and ask if I took American money. I told him no he have to go to the bank and exchange it. I swear tourist leave their brains at home. He also spent 5 mins explaining how he comes from the biggest state in the USA, and such I told him that funny I always thought Texas would be Alaska little sister state.
Next time let ’em know that if Alaska was cut in half, Texas would be only the third largest state.
I thought it was priceless when I was in basic training for the military and some asked me after I said I’m from Alaska “have you ever seen the grass before?” Needless to say I couldn’t help my self “is that what all that green prickley stuff is?” Pause for face drop. “I’m kidding, gosh.”
We’re in Seattle for medical reasons but our home is in Ketchikan. Favorite question here…Don’t you miss all the snow and hate all the rain here? No, I live in a rain forest…Seattle averages 35″ a year – Ketchikan’s average is 150″. Also the I know somebody in Alaska, I don’t remember where they live but you might know them.
Not every idea Sarah Palin had was borderline dangerous (depending on your political persuasion. I am always amused at how each side thinks the other is dangerous) but I will say this as a life long Alaskan. She remains the single worst Governor we have ever had. Arizona can keep her. It is an advantage to be from Alaska when traveling. They believe me when I say that I am not American but Alaskan. (It helps when you meet someone overseas who hates anything USA.)
Still going with horrible person. She spews nonsense that is bigoted.
My husband used to drive tour buses in Juneau and he heard a whole bunch of these questions. One of my favorite stories was about the tourist who was irate because one of the shops he went into wouldn’t accept his Canadian money and just couldn’t understand why!
Also, my brother-in-law was asked the elevation question as well. He and the tourists were standing on the dock when they asked him, “What elevation are we at?” He leaned over the side of the dock, spit, and said, “About 20 feet. Tide’s out.”
Awesome
This was amazing!!! #9 had me laughing out loud, though I have never before stopped to think what a dumb question it is. Yep my parents continued to live in the same town both before and after I left for college; how about yours??
Also #6 – I get asked this one so much I wish I could just tape this response to my forehead!!
Yes to all the above. Additionally: “So where do you live when this place closes down for the winter?”, “Alaskan? Sorry, we don’t accept foreign insurance,” and “Wait, so when you decided to do college in California did you have to apply through an exchange program?”
And if one more person asks me if I really can see Russia from my house, I’m going to introduce them to the delicate Alaskan art of shoving my xtratuf-clad foot somewhere very private.
This is brilliant. I just wish I could spring these answers on dumb tourists and still keep a straight face. I was born and raised in Fairbanks and still live here and the kinds of stupid questions/statements that (some) people from the Lower 48 ask are beyond mind-boggling.
I’ve never had the guts to actually try this, but if it is high summer and if some ignorant tourist asks me when the Northern Lights are out, I am so tempted to say something like “Uh, yeah … the Legislature cut funding way back on the Northern Lights this year to save money, declining oil revenues and all that. Come back in September and you might see some.”
I swear some of these people left their brains back in the Lower 48.
When the northern lights are out in summer? Wow I vaguely remember that.
The sad thing is that when I try to tell them it just like any where else. And then I’m realize I have dog sled racing trophies, was raised on moose meat, and we heated our house with wood I had to carry.
I was born and raised in Alaska and worked as a tour guide for many years. My favorite questions included “What’s the elevation here?” (always asked after immediately stepping of a cruise ship) and when driving away from said cruise ship, “What Interstate are we on?” “Umm, we’re not connected to any other states.”
I get asked questions too.
Why did you move down here? I just tell them it is temporary, they are rebuilding my igloo since I melted it one night. My pet penguins are with the neighbors till I get back.
Equinox is in the spring and fall, when day and night are “equal” it’s the summer SOLSTICE and winter solstice…geez…anywho, my favorite questions are about bears, the fam and I live in rural Kenai Peninsula, and my friends all worry…really? I ask them if they lock their doors at night, ” yep” they say, well I don’t, so who should be worried about whom? Or, ” what caliber sidearm do you carry when you go fishing?” I don’t, I rely on my magnificent beard, and all the over armed tourists around me for protection…
Usually when people ask me dumb questions, I give them back answers just as dumb…. And usually after a few minutes of them thinking about the responses I give them… Well sometimes, on occasion, it will shed some light to their ignorance….
For example:
When they ask me… “Do you live in an igloo?”…
I’ll say… “Oh no…. igloos are a thing of the past, we now we have skyscraper igloos that are able to house many many people”
Or
They ask…. “Do you have dogsleds?” … I’ll say… “Oh yea, everyone has a dog team and sleds, the only problem is sometimes people feed their dogs too much in the morning… This can cause traffic jams because the over fed dogs usually have to stop and take $hit, it makes everyone late for work!”
There will always be someone ignorant to Alaska… I just like to mess with them to get a chuckle from
Their expressions:)
Sad thing is I remember that it was perfectly within the realm of reality to answer the employment question just as you did. Fairbanks had a Sizzler and folks do work for Santa in the North Pole (small community about 10 south of Fairbanks)at the Santa Claus House.
Okay Okay this is hilarious, I have to say I’m guilty, I used to ask dumb questions about this all the time and didn’t think much of Alaska (just cold and snowy with dog sleds) and then my parents “surprised” us with a trip there, needless to say we were less than thrilled to spend 14 days traveling up and down the state. Now when asked it about it, I cant say enough about how much I love it! What an amazing place, it’s now a dream of mine to move there, and I get people asking me all those ^^ questions, saying why would I want to move somewhere like that, and I just have to laugh it off knowing I was that idiotic at one time too!
I grew up in Kodiak, and back in the days of chat rooms one of my favorite questions was “Do you guys have electricity in Alaska?”. Nope, we run everything on solar power 😛
But I think anyone who hasn’t been to Alaska is bound to ask these questions- especially if they have never looked it up.
I live in Valdez, Ak where the pipeline terminal ends and the crude oil is pumped onto tankers and shipped out. Tours of Alyeska terminal used to be a nice thing for tourists to do. When told how many thousand barrels of oil came down the pipeline daily someone asked where we store all the barrels. Another question was how far above sea level are we.
How many barrels? That’s hilarious.
What about “Do you have polar bears as pets?’
Lmao, this seriously just made my day. Everything is right on the dot. Stop bitching people.
I was in downtown Juneau a couple of years ago and was at the cruise ship docks showing my 6 year old son the ship up close and a tourist got off the boat and saw me and realized I was a local. She came over and asked me if I knew how far above sea level they were. I looked over the side of the dock and said with a totally straight face “about 30 feet. That would be the ocean right there” as I pointed down to the water. SMH…
Two weeks ago, my friends minor son was flying in from Salt Lake City and the ticket agent refused to issue the boarding pass because he didn’t have a passport… Since Alaska is its own country…
I went from Ketchikan to the University of Washington in Seattle and was invited to the Foreign Students’ Club.
Here’s the igloos everyone has been talking about.
The best (and worst) one that I have encountered is “So, you grew up in an igloo right?” to which I responded “No, I grew up in a house with satellite TV and internet.” then the gentleman grinned and said “Ah I see you’re a sarcastic one. What was it like growing up huntin’ for your own family?” At that point I figured there wouldn’t be a chance of correcting his misunderstanding, so I just replied “Well, it was hard. One time, it got really hot, a few degrees above freezing. So our home melted and we had to travel by sled dog and our tamed polar bear to our nearest neighbors who lived about 100 miles north. That was a hard time.”
He looked at me in disbelief…or awe. Then said “I’m sorry.” At that point I had to walk away before I told him to get his tubes tied so there wasn’t any more stupid added to the gene pool than what was already there.
Europeans can name almost every country in the world and their capitols by the time they finish University. Americans can’t even recognize all of our states. Fail.
My favorite is. “Are all the cars up there electric”?..
I get asked this when people see my car with a plug hanging out the front of it…
I usually say yes but its a nightmare untangling the extension cords when someone goes the wrong way on a one way!!
That’s hilarious
I seriously was asked (in LA) whether Alaska had snow on the ground all year. Also, my friend (who went to school in Texas, born in Alaska) asked a waiter whether the diner took Alaskan currency, and the waiter left to ask the manager…
I worked at a hotel in fairbanks and while talking to a travel agent in the lower 48, I was asked if Alaska was part of the 48 states, and then she corrected herself and said, “wait how many are there.”
A friend of mine had to convince someone that yes, you could drive to Alaska, and that it is not an island by Hawaii.
Some one once asked me if we rode mouse like we would horses. I said uhhhh ya, just grab on to those antlers and go! Haha
Moose*
Most excellent v
Love your last name BTW:)
My old supervisor was told in a Texas Doctor that they couldn’t accept her insurance because they didn’t take international insurance.
Someone asked me if it was true about the moose walking around in cities. I said yes. She looked at me with a shocked face and said “you let them do that?” All I could do was laugh. I didn’t mention the bears.
I was born and raised in Juneau. I’ve heard all the questions above as well but my favorite question from a tourist (as they looked at the Mendenhall Glacier) was “It’s so dirty! When are they going to clean it?” My friend explained that the barge with all the cleaning supplies had been delayed. The woman said “Oh, ok. That makes sense”.
I grew up in Fairbanks and work in the tourist industry here and these are a few of my favorites:
“Do you take Canadian money?”
“Where is Denali from here?” Then, after I pointed it out to them, “oh ok, so then where’s Mt. McKinley?”
Also, after explaining that Alaska Natives can legally hunt certain protected marine mammals and use the materials for various types of Native art we have in our store (and using the pronoun “they” a lot), “so, did you make any of these?” I’m very, very white.
And my absolute favorite, after explaining about the marine mammals, “so do they kill the mammoths for their ivory too?”
I’ve stayed in a house in Alaska where you could see Russia . Well OK, you did need to walk a few hundred yards over the ridge between the house and the “beach”. Gambell on St Lawerece island. I was there on birding trip.
One year My husband and I were on a bus going to our hotel from the airport in Las Vegas. The driver asked a few people where they were from.
Some were from China, India and many places in between. He got to us and my husband said Alaska, I swear the whole bus got excited. You would have thought we were from Mars. The rest of the ride was question after question about our life style and being from sub zero weather we must be dying right now (it was in the high 90’s).
Yea I was going to school in Oregon and it amazes me that my friends thought I would know so and so from Prince.of Wales I look at them like are you serious?! Uh no I live on Annette Island the only thing I am familiar with from POW are the mountains I can.see from our Island. Then one of my professors was asking me about anchorage like I go there often. Crazy questions.
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Don’t forget that U.S. companies often say they won’t “ship overseas”.
I used to do the office ordering at the place I worked in Fairbanks. I had a VERY long conversation with a worker of an office supply company I was trying to order from. The person argued with me about AK being a overseas. I eventually had to speak to the supervisor to get the order processed.
To this day, a lot of companies in the contiguous states won’t ship to AK.
He’s not desperately trying to look like a big shot. Do you wear your own football package when actively playing football along
with friends on the park or even wear your shirt casually around town or perhaps is this your ritual to wear your groups colors when going
down to the pub. Many people are seeking out the latest Premiership news, as this is where much of the interest in English football is focused.
I used to work waiting tables in a rural lodge on the highway system. I had a tourist ask me one morning if we served fresh squeezed orange juice. I glanced out the big picture windows where you could see nothing but our snow capped mountains and acres of black spruce that mostly grow on muskeg. I replied that we had a lot of trouble growing oranges here and only had frozen. She got so angry I thought she’d slap me.
Another question that used to crack me up: which way is quickest to drive to Anchorage, the Glenn Highway or the Alaska Marine Highway. I was always tempted to ask if they had water wings on their cars….
Yeah those are good ones.