Matt Lauer Finally Deserving Of A Remark

Matt Lauer Finally Deserving Of A Remark
Matt Lauer. Up until a few days ago the mention of that name, for the average American, inspired an almost remarkable non-reaction. Maybe that half second feeling you get when you hold a glass under an ice dispenser. Do you need ice in your water? Sure, why not. Although, you could certainly do without it. ...

Dateline: Orthodox Jewish Woman’s Thrill Seeking Behavior At The 99 Cent Store

Dateline: Orthodox Jewish Woman's Thrill Seeking Behavior At The 99 Cent Store
I generally avoid the 99 Cent Store because of its strong association with loserdom, and because I’m fine with paying an extra ten cents for a bag of carrots without wondering how the 99 Cent Store brokered a deal for them. This is the same establishment that occasionally just happens upon a surplus of socks ...

We Have Created A Horrifying World For Ourselves 2

We Have Created A Horrifying World For Ourselves
In the world, 7 out of every 100,000 people will be murdered. There are currently 15 wars going on in which at least a thousand people were killed the previous calendar year. By far the two most deadly are the US led invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan. In the US, nearly one out of a ...

Your Guide To Vacationing In Los Angeles If You’re An Asshole

Your Guide To Vacationing In Los Angeles If You're An Asshole
There is nothing sadder to me than watching families from the midwest visit the Hollywood Walk of Fame. This is a part of LA that every local strives pretty strongly to avoid. It’s comprised of sticky sidewalks, places that sell crack pipes, and aggressive homeless people missing limbs and convicted rapists dressed as Spiderman. The ...

Update, and The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Seen

Update, and The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Seen
First, an update to my loyal readers: I am currently working on a few big stories which will be published on this site in the coming weeks, so I haven’t had time to post as much recently. Once I get those out I will start posting more frequently, so you’ll want to check the site every ...

Warren Buffet’s Act Not Adding Up

Warren Buffet's Act Not Adding Up
If Warren Buffet actually still lives in the 6,500 square foot central Omaha house that he bought in 1958 despite being worth 76 billion dollars, as the occasional puff piece hammers home, then I have a question: Why has somebody not broken into Warren Buffet’s humble abode and held him for a billion dollar ransom? ...

Lamentations on the Big and Tall Section 4

Lamentations on the Big and Tall Section
I’m a fairly tall guy. Six feet four inches tall to be exact. Above average. Height has no doubt afforded me a few advantages in life, such as being able to see at concerts and sometimes curry favor with women who would be otherwise out of my league. When I am in public height does ...

Hunter S. Thompson 2017 Would Be Way Lamer

Hunter S. Thompson 2017 Would Be Way Lamer
Imagine Hunter S. Thompson, in the prime of his writing career, transported Encino Man style to 2017. Thompson was America’s last and almost certainly final literary celebrity. Gone are the days when writers such as Truman Capote, Mark Twain, or Jack Kerouac were household names. Today’s New York Times Best Seller List is comprised mostly of ...

Can We Just Admit Twitter Sucks And Move On? 6

Can We Just Admit Twitter Sucks And Move On?
Now that the novelty has worn off and its role in society is clearly defined as useless can we acknowledge that Twitter is a trash heap of wasted time populated exclusively by 1) self promoters 2) often psychotic idiots arguing with each other and 3) people sharing banal anecdotes about their uneventful lives. A few statistics ...

Barry Bonds N Bomb Situation Raises So Many Questions 2

Barry Bonds N Bomb Situation Raises So Many Questions
This Barry Bonds Brentwood prep school N-bomb development is a veritable cornucopia of convoluted conflict, intertangling privilege and race and standing them all on their heads and lashing them with the whip of irony. For those unaware, Barry Bonds’ daughter attends a $27,000 a year prep school in Brentwood. Video recently surfaced of a bunch of ...