How To Stop Holding In Football

How To Stop Holding In Football
Holding. There’s nothing worse when you’re watching a football game than having a touchdown called back because an offensive lineman was called for holding on the play. Of the many annoying things about football the holding call is arguably the worst, because it appears to occur on most every down, and the whistling of it ...

ESPN’s Cute Sexism Double Standard

ESPN's Cute Sexism Double Standard
“Every Wednesday, we celebrate the more responsible, more mature, more intelligent, and all around superior gender of our species – the women, on Women Crush Wednesdays.” That rather obnoxious statement was said on the television show and podcast Jalen and Jacoby by co-host David Jacoby. The show’s format entails Jacoby and former NBA player Jalen ...

The Chris Paul Clippers Really Were America’s Team

The Chris Paul Clippers Really Were America's Team
They say the Dallas Cowboys are America’s Team, but I disagree. No team in the history of sports ever further embodied its concurrent America than the uber entitled, underachieving, constantly bitching Doc Rivers and Chris Paul era Los Angeles Clippers. The Cowboys were first labeled America’s Team in the late 70’s by a guy named ...

Why I Am Hating On Kevin Durant 6

Why I Am Hating On Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors and subsequently winning a Championship bothered me. A lot. If you’re one of those simple people who thinks proclaiming two syllables of mom slang can parachute you out of a discussion, you will say to me, You’re just being a Hater. And then your face bill go blank ...

Becca Longo Proves Title IX A Total Hypocrisy 3

Becca Longo Proves Title IX A Total Hypocrisy
Becca Longo, an 18 year old high school senior, just signed a letter of intent to play for Adams State University’s football team. It is believed she is the first female to earn a scholarship to play college football. I know what you’re thinking, no, she’s not going to be playing defensive end. Place kicker. You ...

I Just Broke Professional Darts

I Just Broke Professional Darts
The above video demonstrates a technique of dart throwing which I have pioneered, called Dart Dunking. Dart Dunking – A method of dart “throwing” in which the participant jumps from behind the dart throwing line and places or slams the dart onto the board before his or her feet hit the ground. Much like in basketball, in ...

LeBron James Is The Problem

LeBron James Is The Problem
LeBron James posed for a Sports Illustrated cover after winning their gender neutral Sportsperson of the Year award, and if you look closely at his lapel you’ll see a big safety pin that his assistant ordered on Amazon. Most likely he ordered many different types so LeBron could choose which one would look the best ...

Drunk Razor Ramon Jumped The Shark

Drunk Razor Ramon Jumped The Shark
We’ve had reality TV since the 1950’s, but the mid-nineties saw a shift towards celebrating the people you’d move away from at a party. The cast of MTV’s Real World got progressively less sober, sluttier, and more self-involved. People had always admired the status of people on television, but now they were jealous of people who ...

Magic Johnson is a Real Piece of Shit

Magic Johnson is a Real Piece of Shit
Magic Johnson always has a smile on his face. So do many sociopaths. It’s disarming yet extremely effective. It looks like a house routine. He belongs on a bottle of syrup. Magic Johnson is an activist. Because he got HIV. It doesn’t seem like he had much of a choice in the matter. I never ...

Derrick Gordon Is Great At Entitlement

Derrick Gordon Is Great At Entitlement
According to Derrick Gordon, he didn’t get a fair chance at trying out for the NBA because he’s gay. He forgot the part where he’s not good enough. If Ben Simmons had released a sex tape of himself getting barebacked by Charlie Sheen the week before the draft he’d have still been selected in the top ...