Why? Because I need to. And I am not extorting money. I am extorting pizza. Which, after checking with my lawyer, is perfectly legal.
Here’s the deal, the other day, I bought a large pizza, which, in Los Angeles, runs you about thirty bucks.
I picked it up, and this is what I got:
Do you see something missing here? Yeah, the cheese.
I’m still getting used to the annoyances of L.A. cuisine – and I can tolerate the tropical iced tea, or, in the name of health, unbuttered toast.
But if I order a pizza, I am not trying to be healthy, and I’m going to need a lot of cheese on it.
Cheese makes a pizza. You can skimp on the mushrooms, or the sauce. I don’t care. But, you cannot skimp on the cheese.
And by the way, I did notice that you skimped me on the most expensive component of the pizza – nobody ever goes easy on the bread do they?
No.
Not cool.
I have contacted the establishment who sold me this bullshit pizza.
I have sent them an email detailing the amount of people who read this shit, which is pretty substantial.
They have one choice to make this right.
If they don’t, then the name of the pizza place who gave me this bullshit, nearly cheeseless pizza will be released to the general public, and their business will falter.
They know what they have to do.
They have to provide me with a replacement pizza with adequate cheese.
If not, it is going to be so over for them.
Because I am taking back the streets.
What’s it gonna be – as of yet unnamed pizza restaurant?
Consider yourself warned.
You have 24 hours.
Your move.
Another rape-related post, if you will……
Agreed
I think I know the one. Right on. They need to pay.
Well they contacted me and gave me a refund. They are a good company. Haoly ending.
So this blog is not about the readers but about you USING the readers as a means to get free shit. What a waste of my time. The idea is for you to supply the name of the franchise so that your loyal readers GET SOMETHING OUT OF READING THE ARTICLE. you idiot
Maybe we should get into the nuances of why people comment on articles as long as we’re breaking this down.
I was one of the five or six people interested enough to reqd your blog – hoping there would be something in it for me. Instead it was just a plea for YOU to get a free pizza. Ape.
There’s DEFINITELY something in it for you. You should read the one about losers who have nothing better to do than read multiple posts and then talk shit about one they didn’t really care for, because they hate their lives and will never find true happiness because they are talentless dullards who live behind a computer screen and use anonymous email addresses because they don’t want anyone to discover how pathetic they actually are.
Big D- since you started with the name calling- you are obviously an asshole troll. Get a life.
Dear Big D,
He is a comedian. It’s a joke. Are you simple or somethin?
Yours truly.