I went to this cluttered hole in the wall stale upholstered hipster bar called Good Times at Davey Wayne’s for my friend’s birthday yesterday, it was a muggy 85 degrees and I was wearing shorts like any normal person male or female. As I went to enter I was told by the douchebag doorman who derived his character and personal appearance from Craig Robinson circa Knocked Up that I was not allowed to enter this dank thrift store themed bar because, as I was informed by Cedric the Not an Entertainer, I wasn’t abiding by the dress code.
Did I look too put together? I wondered. Should I run back home and grease up my hair or find an ill fitting sweater?
In fact not. There were no shorts allowed. In LA. In the summer. I’ve been to establishments ten times as reputable wearing shorts lately.
Is this posted, I asked?
You ever hear of this thing called a website? He said, not cleverly.
Yeah I usually do my research on shitty bars before I pop in. I also call Wendy’s prior to each visit to make sure they’re not out of nuggets. What are you talking about?
What if I was a chick? I said, noticing several women in shorts inside the establishment.
Then you’d be allowed in, he said.
Interesting. Of course the US Constitution prevents discrimination on the basis of gender. I figured such an in-the-know bar would be aware of this by now since Caitlyn Jenner has a show where she talks about her hair:
“Title 42 Chapter 21 of the U.S. Code prohibits discrimination against persons based on age, race, national origin and religion… In a number of settings including education, employment, access to businesses and buildings…”
What if I identified as female, I thought. This could be a major lawsuit. Are dudes in shorts the only group left whom it’s okay to openly discriminate against? Are you forcing me to start sounding like the people I hate? I could argue with Chuck D List some more. Too much hassle. This place looks like mothballs anyway.
No lie, this is Good Times at Davey Wayne’s which claims to be a reputable bar. And they have a dress code. For dudes only.
Good Times at Davey Wayne’s, despite it’s pathetically transparent attempt to appear as an independently owned neighborhood establishment, is not. It’s owned by Houston Hospitality, an ownership group with establishments all around town which they commissioned detailed market research studies on before opening, including Pour Vous, Harvard & Stone, Dirty Laundry, Piano Bar, No Vacancy, La Descarga, Butchers & Barbers, and Break Room 86.
Notice how they all sound so different and unique. They’re not. You’re drinking at a chain which is hiding being a chain. Not to mention, Prohibition was a shitty time when people’s rights were trampled all over. Coincidence? Stop basing every bar on the good old days when they had a Colored Door. Booze are legal now. Put away your stupid jiggers and adjust accordingly.
I’d like it to be known this place is in violation of at least one Civil Code, and that they are discriminating against the only people left to discriminate against, which in my opinion is just a pussy move.
Be a man. Or a woman. Go to a real bar.