Citizen Kane is often referred to as being the “Greatest Movie of All Time.”

Shakespeare is often referred to as the “Greatest Writer of All Time.”

As someone who has seen Citizen Kane and read a lot of Shakespeare, I have one thing to say to this:

No.

Usually, the rationale given for these works being superior is that “they were good for their time.”

The problem is that their time wasn’t as good as our time.

In the time of Shakespeare, a piece of bread and a turnip was considered a pretty good meal.

In the late forties, when Citizen Kane was produced, a rubber ball with a string and a paddle was considered an awesome toy.

Should I put down the control to my X-Box and go play pogs in the yard? I didn’t think so.

I don’t care how great a work was ‘for its time.’

Bronze was great for its time. I’m going with stainless steal.

Here’s how it works – if there’s a thing, and then something comes along that’s better than that original thing, then the new thing is BETTER. Time doesn’t come into the equation.

So, let me be perfectly clear: Arby’s is BETTER than gruel and porridge. Grand Theft Auto is BETTER than a ball and jacks. A bronze can opener sucks. The Big Lebowski  is BETTER than Citizen Kane, and Kurt Vonnegut is BETTTER than Shakespeare. Shakespeare only writes about royalty and it becomes tiresome.

If you want to talk about how great it was at the time, that’s fine, but that’s a different conversation. Last I checked, we don’t have the Black Plague anymore. Times are getting better. And with time, things are getting better. So stop living in the past.