Bieber’s Love Yourself Raises Questions 10

I’ve had the displeasure of listening to this stupid ass song on multiple occasions because I put it on my playlist.

There’s actually a formula behind the music played on corporate radio.

I know what you’re thinking: Wouldn’t having an inherent formula mean that said music is the opposite of art?

Yes! Maybe that’s why he’s called Dr. Luke and not Professor Luke.

Enter Justin Bieber from YouTube.

The thing that really irritates me about this song is that it’s told from the first person of someone who didn’t write it. You can tell, because why would this twink have a girlfriend?

In all seriousness it gets very meta:

“I didn’t want to write a song, cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care, I don’t.”

You didn’t write a song. Ed Sheeran and another guy wrote a song and then decided it wasn’t good enough to record themselves and drunkenly laughed about how fucked up it is that someone bought it.

We’re to assume all songwriting which incorporates storytelling is inherently fictional and often metaphorical. Clearly that Neil Young imposter didn’t really ride through the desert on a horse with no name, he would have named the horse.

Turn the page…

In Bob Dylan’s early work he was pretending to be a folksy hick even though he was a Jewish dude from Minnesota. Guys who sit on porches don’t write a ton of lyrics. You have to suspend your disbelief.

The collaborative supergroup Bad Company mostly wrote songs about being in the band Bad Company and we were alerted to the plight of making a shitload of money touring, yet to my knowledge no song has ever broken down the barrier to the point of referencing whether or not the writer of the song you’re listening to felt like writing it or not.

The brilliant movie Adaptation was about a screenwriter writing a movie, and especially in the nineties many rappers such as Talib Kwali and Nas rapped mostly about how good they were at rapping. This would be equivalent to stepping onto a basketball court and talking a lot of trash in a wheelchair.

Still, referencing your internal debate as to whether or not to write a song, in the lyrics of a song, seems to have broken down the last barrier between celebrity and art, and further, of the implicit understanding that the point of writing a song is to entertain an audience.

Sure Nirvana and Pearl Jam wore jeans and plaid shirts and went out of their way to act like their shitty garage band just blew up accidentally, but that was a pushback to the hair band and payola era.

Entertainers do a lot of preparation if they’re any good, which is why hipster comedians who memorize their act and pretend to work off a notebook are exceptionally offensive.

Love Yourself appears to be a push back to the act of songwriting. The lyrics aren’t presented as striving to entertain an audience, but for the means of the writer to achieve peace of mind and get back at some chick. It’s like how reality TV was a pushback to the act of making television. (The need to make good TV is diminished with less competition. Hence, mega conglomerate media mergers lead to Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It’s cheap.)

It’s tough to separate the actual Justin Bieber from the character the writers are portraying. Clearly it’s not the real Justin Bieber, because Justin Bieber can’t write songs and the author of the song says he wrote it, yet the lyrics definitely seek to portray the actual Bieber in order to capitalize on his celebrity and I assume the audience is supposed to believe this is a meditation on his actual life.

You’ve been “so caught up in your job?” If we’re to suspend disbelief and assume Bieber actually wrote this song, isn’t writing the song you’re currently singing, as a songwriter, part of your fucking job?

Love Yourself is a first person constructed narrative of Bieber dwelling on writing a song.

So, like a reality show, but, a song.

Couldn’t remember the best song in the world, this is a tribute. That type of thing.

In the Selfie Era, the definition of success is attaining it without doing any actual work. Having wealthy parents is really the only way to accomplish this, I guess that’s the secret.

Let the old money die and keep making the sex tapes, you’re doing the country a service by ceasing the cycle of success and snorting away the inheritance, nobody’s role model should have herpes.

What could better exemplify the Selfie mentality than a songwriter (Sheeran), writing from the perspective of his less talented peer (Bieber), and disclosing in the lyrics that he actually isn’t sure if he wanted to write the fucking song that you’re listening to or not? Is Sheeran possibly taking a jab at Bieber or is he doing him a favor by allowing him to say that he actually wrote a song, knowing much of the audience assumes as much.

In closing, the song and its Casio sax solo and over produced three chord progression sucks donkey balls, so if you have to ask, yeah, you shouldn’t have written the song Ed and your butt buddy should stop posing.











Matt Ralston is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewRalston

10 thoughts on “Bieber’s Love Yourself Raises Questions

  1. Reply Keyonna Wilkinson Oct 6,2016 2:54 am

    WTF What Do You Mean by Bieber can’t write music!!??!? Yes,he can indeed !! He’s a great artist and many of his songs from Purpose are written by him !! Don’t diss bieber, I love bieber !! And also I would appreciate you not dating he can’t write bc idk if you know this but a song he has stutter himself called ” Life Is Worth Living ” has actually saved many lives and teen suicides !! Bieber has shifted culture so much in 2015-16 in odd ways such as : style,hair,music,etc. A lot of people still hate him because of what he did in the past, when he was young. He was in the spotlight and everyone was watching his every move,because of how famous he was. So when he made a mistake everyone over reacted. I mean I’m a teen (15) I’ve done so much dumb s*it, worse if not the same as bieber had done at age 19. When your young you make mistakes and you learn from the consequences from making those dumb choices and the shame you feel upon yourself for doing such a thing. As you get older you grow,you mature, you realize what’s socially acceptable and age appropriate and what’s not. I feel as if many people haven’t Bieber a second chance yet.They just assume he’s the same sh*tty kid he once was, and that’s not true. People want to hold on to the past so bad,because they want to continue to hate and hurt even though most have moved on and moved forward. You know it’s important to forgive and to not forget,bc if you forget you will go right back tooth same bad habits you were in before that caused for you to have to have a bigger burden to the heart to carry. I know I know Bieber did some selfish dumb crap as a kid, but so did we all. Those of you that say well what u did wasn’t as bad as Biebers, well fakse. Bc when we or you ever do something wrong that we know we shouldn’t do we all have the same motives and reasons why : instant gratification, repulsiveness, wanting to look cool, afraid of judgment by peers, to satisfy what you want and now. We all have screw ups so accept that no human is perfect !!<3

  2. Reply Keyonna Wilkinson Oct 6,2016 2:58 am

    Srry for bad spelling ^^^^ lol

  3. Reply A Belieber Oct 28,2016 8:55 pm

    Lol. No problem, but can I just say, I’m kinda starting to think your highkey jealous of him, bc he’s done nothing wrong to you !! I’m not a huge Bieber fan, but I like the guy, you know, good music, has turned himself around !!  @BS First off, that’s not even what actually You’re  twisting your story a tiny bit to make Justin seem like the ” Bad Guy “, when in all reality, we know Justin’s  fan – base ( Beliebers )  aren’t  as innocent as we seem sometimes. Personally, not I, but others (   but  I will take responsibility for it, because  this fandom is a TEAM ! ! ) We’ve crossed some personally boundaries FOR  SURE. We’ve gotten involved in things we shouldn’t have any involvement in, in his life, such as very personal things. Others,  are just things that are not really socially the right thing to do or react, towards  Justin.  Now, am I  saying Justin is completely innocent ? OH HELL NO, LOL, NO WAY !! Could Justin of acted more mature and appropriate in these situations ? YES, DEFINITELY ! ! I feel like all the media, press, and   attention  Bieber constantly gets ,is quite overwhelming for him !! Yes, I know it’s his lifestyle and he should kinda be expecting it, but not to that extent !! He’s gotten to the point were he’s just SO HUGE AND POPULAR NOW !! People  think that what would normally apply to just any other ” normal person ” , doesn’t apply to him   ( and celebs )  !!  He rarely has any  privacy, and barely any  room to take a shit, without the press showing up.  The press is ALWAYS up his ass WAY MORE than any other star, and it’s annoying when there’s someone constantly following you around, who you didn’t even invite, in the first place  to invade your privacy and/or snoop around your life….. !!!!  In all honesty, it’s  rude !!   I Feel like media and fans should have limited access to him.  Only  if he allows for you to get close and personal, or only if he’s willing to share that type of stuff with you. Plus, don’t you think if he wanted people to know, what’s going on in his personal life,  he would tell the press himself or announce it on social media ? Plus, if you harass and try to pry information he’s not openly willing to share out of him,  he’s only gonna build a wall and set boundaries among whom ever is trying to do so, it’s human nature. It’s also just common sense, if you don’t know a person like that YOU HAVE NO RIGHT UP IN THERE PERSONAL LIFE. If Bieber wants nudes leaked out of himself, he’ll do it himself. If Bieber wants to tell you who he’s in a relationship with, he’ll tell you. I don’t know if this is me, or just common sense, but  shocker, IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW SOMETHING ……… YOU’LL TELL THEM. Most people have   none or barely and intentions of respecting him. They just  want WHATEVER they can get from him, at the moment. Most aren’t really SEEKING to make a relation ship with  Justin, they just want to invade his privacy, and take advantage of his fame ! Why should he be genuine with you and respect you, if you don’t respect him. Just like how when ever someone flips you off, most  don’t respond with compassion. They immediately seek for ” payback ” or in response,  return the same attitude you gave them. People forget all the time that this guy @justinbieber is REAL, he’s HUMAN, he HAS FEELINGS, he HAS TROUBLES, he makes MISTAKES, he has his OWN ISSUES !! God,  forbid Justin  Bieber makes mistakes, omg that’s so unheard of in humans, so rare !!!! People hold him up to perfect standards cause he has money, power, fame, instant gratification,etc. When the truth is, anybody and everybody can make mistakes, no matter what class you are !! There’s no such thing that’s perfect, so stop expecting Bieber to be ! How can you expect something that doesn’t exist ?   I think it’s weird how people judge his heart, when you don’t personally know Justin. I honestly feel so bad for the young man, I feel like the life style he lives is a blessing and a curse ! Positive : $, fame, power, instant gratification, and basically he can probably get head from any chick he wants, and smash any girl he’d like to. Negatives : can’t go to Restraunts, Grocery Stores, or any public area with out a camera being shoved in his face, pressure to meet other people’s expectations, constantly being judged, always hearing screaming fans, hugging people he doesn’t want to, and being a huge fuck boy ,cause he’s famous and he knows any girl will get with him.  I mean, I really feel for the young man, people treat him so differently bc of his fame !! It’s sad if you really think about all the shitty situations the media has put him through ! I mean honest, Bieber is just as normal as the rest of us, and  people need to start giving him space. Bieber’s  life is go, go,go, and he’s always doing something to make his fans happy. I mean sure he’s been a straight up bitch to us sometimes, but at the end if the day, we, HIS  beliebers know he didn’t mean it !! His life is chaotic and that can cause his stress to be poured out on us , and WE TOTALLY UNDERSTAND !!!  The thing is with his beliebers’ is that we never left him for his troubles with the law back in 2014, so WE SURE AS HELL aren’t gonna leave him now !!  I know  Justin has done   DUMB SHIT and RUDE SHIT, but   you have to be VERY understanding and forgiving of him ! ! I mean, yeah, he’s put his beliebers’  through embarrassment and hell, but at the end of the day we all grow stronger together and we move on. I’m ready for what  the future holds, and you damn right that if Bieber pulls more  dumb shit, imma be with him. Because, Bieber and his beliebers’ are a family and we always back the other bitch up, if we have too !! Your family should never leave you,  no matter how pissed of you made them, cause thats not how a family works !! I’ve 100 % always supported this dude, and I don’t need all these , (and neither does Justin )  25,50,75,95 percent’s cause honestly the truth is if your not gonna back bieber up all the way, then get the hell out !!! Bc in all honestly you’re either a fan, follower, or hater. If you’re gonna be a hater or a follower, I’m cool with that. Just make sure when you’re hating or following, to not get involved, in this fan-base, bc you screw everything up …….
    If youre gonna talk shit about bieber, we all know it’s cause your jealous, WTF has he done to you ? OH WAIT, NOTHING, you just hate him cause you ain’t him, let’s be real here !! I’m tired of being nice to all these bieber haters it’s annoying asf, grow the hell up and have something else to do besides talk shit !! bc I guarantee you if you had his money and his fame, you wouldn’t be talking bs about him. Idk where your going with this but just know Sit your ass down, shut your damn mouth, and don’t get involved in this fanbase, …………. it’s as simple as that!!!
     Cause if you fuck with Justin, you getting the whole squad rallied up,  you fucking with the entire squad, you screwing over er’body, you’re pissing off millions of us. It’s the shit that hurts us the most, seeing someone disrespect our boy.  It gets us pissed, REALLY pissed !!! Just remember if you hurt Jay, that type of shit don’t go over well with us. Well seek revenge, hardcore, and we don’t take our revenge lightly !!!      #Beliebersgohard

    • Reply Matt Ralston Oct 29,2016 10:51 pm

      I agree with much of this except wanting to be tiny Justin Bieber, but I think you lost credibility when you said the music Bieber lends his face to is “good music.”

  4. Reply A Belieber Nov 2,2016 3:00 am

    Haha, I just wanted to give my opinion about his situation,lol,………
    All love
    P.S Can I just say if his music sucked he wouldn’t be successful and making 80,000,000 ( 80 MILLLION) a year, when he’s ONLY 22 YEARS OLD !! However, we all have our own opinions about artist and I’ll let you keep yours, even though I don’t agree <3 B.T.W. Good blog, very interesting, Keep up the good work !!!! :))

  5. Reply Lee R. Nov 6,2016 1:07 am

     I mean, kid makes good music, he’s very talented. However, he’s a douche at times. He’ll do stuff that makes me like him, but then turn right back around and do something that makes me dislike him. He’s quite a questionable person. You cant only love him or hate him there’s like this weird – ish  in between thing. I don’t know what to think of him cause sometimes he portrays himself as a ‘ Nice Guy ‘ but then other times he portrays himself as a douche. I don’t think he’s gonna last long if he keeps mistreating ppl and acting up, it’s a bit immature for his age. It’s like Bieber you’re  what, 22 or 23  years old ? Your to old for this bro, you can’t be a grown ass man still acting like a 15 year old cocky little shit, who is trying to figure out his nationality/ race and doesn’t know if he should stay a white kid or be black. I mean common’ Bieber you got emmense talent, and your ruining it by acting like the way you’ve been behaving lately. I get that fame is hard, I get that, A LOT, and I know it kinda sucks bro that you can’t have privacy and I’m sorry for that. I mean all Justin does these days is bitch about how fame is hard. Well, boo – hoo shut the fuck up Bieber, bc we got  people who:  lost a loved one, people who have uncurable deceases, babies and kids born into poverty, 3rd world countries, etc. And you say YOUR LIFE IS HARD. Bro, you make like 80,000,000 MILLION A YEAR. Get over yourself Bieber, your a selfish prick. All Bieber does is fuck over his fans the ones  that gave him this highclass, rich ass , luxury life style. He’s not even truly thankful for his fans cause if he was he wouldn’t  be screwing over all his fans 24/ 7  !!! If your thankful for somebody, you treat them with RESPECT, period !!! He’s literally a little  caniving ass,  sneaky little, bitch,  he pretended like he changed back in 2015 just so everyone would buy   his album  ‘ Purpose ‘ so he could make $$$ off of these people who thought he changed. Then in 2016 he went right back to his old habits, what freaking screw over !!! Pisses me off !!! Like bro, Bieber,  your not even a changed man you that same old little dick head that got arrested in 2014 for DUI, drag racing, and refusing arrest back in Miami !!! And he’s still successful and I honestly don’t know why, cause his fans  are blind as  fuck  and don’t know that he’s using them for $$$. Like whatta goddamn scam Bieber pulled,  pisses  me off, like bitch, you ain’t no ” changed man ” , what you meant by changed was you where older and you finally hit puberty at like 21, like I don’t care about these physical changes, I care about the behavioral and emotional changes. Like bitch don’t get the world on a technicality, when you say,  on quote  ” I’m a changed man.” cuz a year later, here I am finding out that back in 2015 when you said that, you meant changed as in,  my personality, immature,  behavior issues are still the same, I just changed my physical features like my hair and my style. 

  6. Reply Lee R. Nov 6,2016 1:12 am

     ^^  and on top of that (  I  mean, he has pretty nice music, )  it’s just his personality is off. Like on the low-key,I swear Bieber is bi – polar. These days he’s has two OPPOSITE personalities. It’s like he’s either trying to spread world peace and also be a douche at the same time, it doesn’t make sense ? Like he’s the one that’s got me like ” What ( the fuck ) Do You Mean ?” Like one day he’s like like  ” find yourself   a purpose” ” I love God ” “life’s good ” ” I love my fans ” and then the next dag  he’s like, ” my fans  are obnoxious and annoying” ” I’m sad ” ” I’m depressed ” and it’ like BITCH WHAT ARE YOU, HOW ARE  YOU FEELING,  it’s hard to tell when you got mood swings the size of tectonic plates. Like I’ve never been more confused about someones identity in  my ENTIRE life. As a matter of fact, Justin probably doesn’t know who he is anymore. He’s like stuck in between emotions to choose from.     

  7. Reply Keyonna Jul 29,2017 11:27 pm

    Ummm what the heck, I looked up my name on google and saw my name popped up here…. I clicked on the website and saw a comment But I didn’t write any of that so who ever that is stop, wth. Not cool bro.

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