Matt Ralston's Blog

Aurora Energy LLC and Corporate Privilege

Nov

8

2016

*This article is pretty long, that’s why it’s broken up into seven parts. The last part explains in detail how Aurora Energy is lying to the public about the toxins they’re exposing the city of Fairbanks to. PART I The Origin When I started writing this article I was seeking the answer to a simple ...

Why Isn’t Election Night More Violent?

Oct

27

2016

Presidential Election Day in America is not statistically more violent than the same day in non-election years. That’s troubling. I mean, it’s good that people don’t flip out and act crazy, but if the low voter turnout doesn’t doesn’t signify our apathy or that we’ve been beaten into submission, shouldn’t our docile and obedient nature on this day? ...

Rufus Gifford Jumps The Shark To Idiocracy

Oct

2

2016

Around the time Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for President of the United States, many of the clever and astute among us remarked that the 2006 film Idiocracy was in essence becoming reality. The movie’s theme is that of a dystopian future wherein people become hopelessly dependent on technology and the species regresses to the point that the ...

Demi Lovato And The Spin Game

Sep

19

2016

As a case study you can learn a lot about society from listening to Demi Lovato’s retarded musings on life. Lovato’s parents are white trash losers from New Mexico who thought it would be a good idea to let her drop out of junior high school to be molested by pederast hacky shit for brains ...

Magic Johnson is a Real Piece of Shit

Sep

17

2016

Magic Johnson always has a smile on his face. So do many sociopaths. It’s disarming yet extremely effective. It looks like a house routine. He belongs on a bottle of syrup. Magic Johnson is an activist. Because he got HIV. It doesn’t seem like he had much of a choice in the matter. I never ...

How Cool People Are By State Power Rankings 4

Aug

31

2016

Some states produce cooler people than others, so I’m issuing the definitive official rankings on the subject. These are not rankings of the states themselves, simply the value of the people who come from each state. Starting from worst to best: 50. New York – These people are just annoying. Constant chatter about baseball and pizza. ...

Melania Trump Worked As A Prostitute 122

Aug

23

2016

Melania Trump used to be a hooker, I know this from firsthand experience. She is denying this. It’s already been proven that Melania Trump is a liar. She lied about having graduated from college, which was a laughable claim as if models know how to read. She also plagiarized Michelle Obama’s speech and lied about ...

Derrick Gordon Is Great At Entitlement

Aug

21

2016

According to Derrick Gordon, he didn’t get a fair chance at trying out for the NBA because he’s gay. He forgot the part where he’s not good enough. If Ben Simmons had released a sex tape of himself getting barebacked by Charlie Sheen the week before the draft he’d have still been selected in the top ...

Suicide Squad Seems Lazy 2

Jul

18

2016

I haven’t seen this Suicide Squad movie but it looks pretty terrible. The El Diablo character seems familiar. I remember reading an article about this meth addict with an eyeball tattoo who shot a cop in Anchorage Alaska a while back. Apparently the people in charge of production also browse salacious stories on the Daily Mail’s ...

Ismael Dejesus Scandal Has Legs 10

Jul

11

2016

As I wrote earlier, Ismael Dejesus is a guy who supposedly filmed the police shootout in Dallas and then called into CNN and walked Don Lemon through the footage and also offered a lengthy diatribe of his positions on terrorism and gun control for no apparent reason. The entire series of events seemed odd so I did ...