Opinon: Stop Serving Lamar Odom Booze

Opinon: Stop Serving Lamar Odom Booze
After Lamar Odom was seen collapsing while out for a night of drinking at Bootsy Bellows nightclub on the Sunset Strip I had a novel idea: maybe if you own or manage a bar, don’t give Lamar Odom any alcohol. This is for the both of your benefit. First of all he could easily die ...

Hillary Clinton And Donald Trump Must Get Married

Hillary Clinton And Donald Trump Must Get Married
There has never been a stronger political divide in the history of America. You’re either firmly on the left or firmly on the right. There is no room for thought or reason anymore. Whatever you believe will be confirmed by FOX or MSNBC or Facebook or Twitter. Donald Trump is obviously corrupt. It appears his ...

Forrest Gump Had Us All Snowed 1

Forrest Gump Had Us All Snowed
Nobody wants to think about this and to my knowledge nobody has dared speak the words, but the epic and heartfelt film Forrest Gump was just an elaborate advertisement for a chain of mediocre tourist trap seafood restaurants. (A quick summary for those unfamiliar with the film: Forrest Gump is about a retarded guy who keeps ...

Weinstein is a Bad Guy, Child Rapists No Comment

Weinstein is a Bad Guy, Child Rapists No Comment
In light of the Harvey Weinstein saga, it may behoove us to recap the career of Victor Salva for some perspective. He is a man who has found steady work in Hollywood as a director. A brief history: In 1989, while on the set of his first feature length film entitled Clownhouse, Victor Silva recorded video ...

Why Is Nobody Racist Against The Russians? 1

Why Is Nobody Racist Against The Russians?
An honest question to Republicans: If there was mounting evidence that Russia interfered in a United States presidential election and conspired to discredit the Republican candidate, wouldn’t you all be talking a ton of shit about Russian Americans right now? Saying things like “Deport Them” or even being complacent with a ban Russian travel ban? ...

Celebrity Trademarks Ranked

Celebrity Trademarks Ranked
These are the rules in ranking celebrity fashion trademarks: They must be fashion or style choices that a person for whatever reason decided to really commit to, to the point that they are permanently associated with their choice. These must be aesthetic attributes and something that the person has chosen to do. For example, Carrot ...

Dateline: Orthodox Jewish Woman’s Thrill Seeking Behavior At The 99 Cent Store

Dateline: Orthodox Jewish Woman's Thrill Seeking Behavior At The 99 Cent Store
I generally avoid the 99 Cent Store because of its strong association with loserdom, and because I’m fine with paying an extra ten cents for a bag of carrots without wondering how the 99 Cent Store brokered a deal for them. This is the same establishment that occasionally just happens upon a surplus of socks ...

Why You Can’t Have Equal Pay Without Equal Prison Time

Why You Can't Have Equal Pay Without Equal Prison Time
Upon overhearing casually ill-informed, heavily privileged, yet somehow vaguely oppressed white women discuss the Gender Pay Gap over their eighteen dollar salads at Urth Caffe, I had a sudden realization… As they were throwing completely bogus statistics out of their asses, while not at work somehow, on a Tuesday afternoon, one of which was that ...

We Have Created A Horrifying World For Ourselves 2

We Have Created A Horrifying World For Ourselves
In the world, 7 out of every 100,000 people will be murdered. There are currently 15 wars going on in which at least a thousand people were killed the previous calendar year. By far the two most deadly are the US led invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan. In the US, nearly one out of a ...

Your Guide To Vacationing In Los Angeles If You’re An Asshole

Your Guide To Vacationing In Los Angeles If You're An Asshole
There is nothing sadder to me than watching families from the midwest visit the Hollywood Walk of Fame. This is a part of LA that every local strives pretty strongly to avoid. It’s comprised of sticky sidewalks, places that sell crack pipes, and aggressive homeless people missing limbs and convicted rapists dressed as Spiderman. The ...