Why You and Your Dog can F Yourselves. 1

I recently had lunch with a very good friend of mine. She’s a vegan. I think you can do the math and realize that she had a displaced attachment to fluffy animals and isn’t just doing it for the iron deficiency. So, first thing she tells me is that she adopted a new dog. Do ...

The Biggest Loser Moves I’ve Ever Seen Part I

The following are true accounts of people that I have known, and mostly hated, being complete losers. Much how making out with your frat-brother at that one drunken party makes you a permanent homosexual regardless of how many toddlers you have, or blowing a guy who paid your rent for a month makes you a ...

How Creepy is the Pledge of Allegiance? 2

As freedom loving Americans, we all know that nobody is as free as we are. We can do whatever we want, except for a bunch of things that are illegal. But that doesn’t matter, we still know that America is The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave. How do we know this? ...

Why CNN is a Joke Part II 1

As explained in Part I, CNN is a fucking joke that should only be watched if you want to giggle at something ridiculous and run out of Nazi porn. So, where I left off – Wolf Blitzer is in the film Skyfall playing himself as “CNN News Anchor.” Why is this troubling? Well, Blitzer is supposed to ...

Why CNN is a Joke Part I

CNN is an embarrassment to humanity. Why you would possibly think that CNN, owned by Time Warner Inc., the world’s largest media conglomerate, would possibly have any incentive to provide anything but pro-corporate drivel is beyond me. I can’t watch CNN because I respect myself, but I’ve obviously been exposed to it from time to time, and ...

The Worst I’ve Ever Been Dissed

While I was attending my university, I would frequently partake in late night cafeteria visits. The late night menu was much more limited than during the day, and so there were only like six items you could order. They had chicken strips, french fries, egg rolls, and some kind of asian beef and rice. So, ...

Valet Service is more than Annoying. It’s Ruining Los Angeles 3

Before I moved to L.A. I thought of valet service the way that any self-respecting adult would which can be summed up as: “Why can’t people park their own fucking car?” I’m still asking myself that question. Now, of course I use valet. I have no choice sometimes. Regardless, here are the top reasons that ...

How Permissive Parenting is Ruining Society

Permissive Parenting is one of the three types of parenting originally identified by psychologist Diana Baumrind. It is essentially defined as being a friend of the child more than a parent. It is traditionally considered a really fucked up way to raise a kid. I personally think it is now standard and reflects a growing pervasiveness of narcissism in ...

The Grossest Thing I’ve Ever Seen Part 1

This is the grossest thing I have ever seen happen. I was hanging out in Hollywood at the Burgundy Room. All the dudes there are constantly dressed up like punk rockers. I frankly don’t respect any adult man who purchases accessories other than ketchup. I don’t honestly know where you go to buy studded belts ...

Gun Arguments and Why they’re Stupid

Americans have been dying from guns by the droves for a long time. This fact didn’t really resonate with White America, however, until white people started being killed by the masses in public places. I call this the Cedric Ceballos Effect. Ceballos was a pretty good player who would occasionally erupt for fifty-point games. He’s still ...