The only people still calling themselves “Liberals” and “Conservatives” are fucking idiots.
Conservatives are idiots because they actually fancy themselves to be traditionally conservative, which I suppose would mean they want to have slaves do free labor for them while they attempt to chew deer meat with wooden teeth.
The slaves they had were most likely not conservative unless they listened to a lot of Elliott Smith and cut their cuts.
Today’s Conservatives are actually exceptionally liberal, given the definition of the word.
That’s assuming they’re cool with the 13th Amendment.
Wait, Amendment? How are you conservative if you amend The Constitution – cause its the thing you adhere to, so doesn’t that make you… liberal?
Who’s the most conservative person you can think of? I don’t know, most would say Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Strom Thurmond… I’m kind of out of the loop, sorry I’ve been not getting fat.
None of the above posers you name are conservative.
They all supported George Bush Jr.’s budget, which for a fact, drove up national debt more than any administration in history. FACT.
Please do four minutes of research, but trust me, its true beyond dispute unless you’re misinformed.
So, how is that conservative?
Here’s a common response to this obvious disconnect:
“Lincoln was a Democrat”
That’s right Travis. Understand what we’re talking about. Say I have two balls in your face. One of them is painted blue and the other’s painted red – and the blue one is in your mouth, which one would you prefer?
Oh, the red one? Right, I’ll switch them up every fifty years or so.
That’s the way it works, and the turning point wasn’t long ago.
Prior to Nixon winning the South in a landslide, the Democratic party controlled that region for close to a hundred years and was responsible for, for example, Anti-Lynching legislation and our mutual friend Jim Crow.
Wait, but Nixon was a Republican, how did he win the South?
Because he was liberal on racial issues.
Wait, so, uh, me too… uh, I don’t hate black people, I love the Jaguars…
Jesus, shut the fuck up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.
I don’t have time to go into policy, but Nixon was able to toe the line on racial issues in order to win Southern states BECAUSE racists were in his pocket.
And that dude was a Liberal.
But he was a Republican?
Nixon bad? Conservative good? Liberal bad? Lincoln Good? Taco Bell now? Zzzzzzz.
Pay attention, because this is only a story. But there are other examples. From The Real.