Why The Alt-Right Are Cowards, And Pussies 4

Sometimes a photo speaks louder than words. These people, while standing in the White House and in front of a professional photographer, threw up gang signs signifying white supremacy.

For a fact.

Not much different than if Barack Obama had invited a group of representatives of the South Side Crips over to steal all of the silverware, although that would have been received quite differently by racists or just anyone who follows the news.

How ironic.

Four of these hand signaling people are journalists who were granted a press pass to hang out at the White House, which has become nothing more than an opulent trailer park, whenever they feel like it, presumably with the go ahead from Steve Bannon, a dandruff ridden shit stained sweatpants wearing bigot who started a website called Brietbart, popular among Pantera fans with iron cross tattoos covering their track marks, their three welfare fed toddlers leaving constant pudding spots on their remarkably absorbent sofa.

These race baiting cowards who call themselves journalists while shilling for the Koch Brothers, these scrap licking high four figure earning smug faced condescending trolls, these people who sold their soul for the shrimp cocktail at the corporate mixer, have taken it upon themselves to pander to neo-Nazi cults, located right off of highway exits you drive past.

These would be known as “Sleeper Cells” if they were muslims and not sallow eyed diabetics looking at you to nod at them while they serve you dry pancakes.

How much is an extra fucking egg, just put it in the fucking pancake, Mona.

And now that there’s a crowd gathered ’round, I totally agree with your plagiarized thoughts on the Confederacy.

That YouTube video was four minutes well spent. But I just want to pump my gas and leave without you murdering me, Heseciahb.

The photo to the left is some cunt named Cassandra Fairbanks and also some sad unpopular kid who everyone made fun of named Mike Cernovich.

Basically they’re two sociopaths who were rejected from reality TV.

Yet they’re allowed in the White House.

Invest in Bitcoin.

According to an obviously shitfaced drunk Cassandra Fairbanks in the video at the top, when asked why she was displaying her hands that way, she said she was just giving the classic A OK sign, like your Asian neighbor did when you successfully backed out of the driveway.

Then she tried to invoke the term fake news.

While getting paid to report on the White House.

If that doesn’t trouble you, nothing will.

That hand signal isn’t popular right now, and these two broken mirrors are doing it deliberately.

The coying look in their eyes is telling.

They are winking at you.

They got away with it, don’t tell teacher.

It’s like Fight Club.

Except instead of having to fight to be in the club you just have to be really really fat and unhappy and not very curious about the world.

If you thought it were a coincidence that these two porn rejects were deliberately throwing a hand signal that just happened to look like a W, as in White, as in Power, as in advertising that they subscribe to a belief in white power, a few other disposable whites did it too, in the same exact location.

These two cowards also have press passes.

That would be Jim Hoft, some shitty website designer, and the twink he is fucking, who is named Lucian Wintrich.

That is his given name, meaning his parents either loved or hated him way too much.

Either way it worked out really poorly.

The Illuminate did a hard pivot after being gay became OK by the supreme court.

Do you remember how a lot of Republicans were weirdly obsessed with guys fucking other guys before?

Now it’s edgy to be gay and also a white supremacist.

It is somewhat provocative, in the sense that a great dane and a chihuahua sixty nining would be worthy of comment, but at the end of the day it’s just kind of sad.

The Alt-right.

A pack of people with convictions so deep, they can’t even state them.

Because stating them would see you judged for what you are.


This isn’t a case of being oppressed for your beliefs.

That’s what YOU are supposed to do.

Fucking idiots.

It’s hard to stand proud, when there is no conceivable way you could.

Hence the glint in the eye.

These people are too cowardly to admit what they believe.

If that’s the case, you shouldn’t believe them.


The four assholes above, who will not be notable enough to be noted in history how terrible they are, are journalists, for Russian propaganda outfits, but not affiliated with The Trump administration (nor is his wife who used to get fucked by the grossest people on earth for money.)

They don’t work for Trump. But this guy does, and this is not photoshopped.

The photo to the left is Stephen Miller, President Donald Trump’s Senior Advisor to Policy.

He is throwing, paradoxically, the least and most intimidating gang sign I could imagine.

For one he’s obviously a Rayheon lab born baby whose head you could push in.

If someone threw that sign to me, around any black people I knew, or perhaps just at the wrong time in the cereal aisle, I might consider throwing them across the store, but then just forget about it because the guy in the cheese section who looks like a young Vanilla Ice thinks I’m his drug dealer.

What’s scary is Stephen Miller is not just some neck tatted little malnourished ratchet making eyes at your girlfriend, as you drive away. He is the current White House’s Senior Advisor of Policy.

This is an actual photo. Look at Snopes. Or just that time he did it.

What does this mean?

It means a lot of things.

Without running the risk of losing my audience with facts, it means that the current administration is deeply steeped in white supremacism.

If you don’t find it troubling, then you just can’t.

But this is what is going on.

The Nazis stared on the sly.

That’s a fucking fact.

They targeted people who had been disenfranchised,

Could have been anything.

Could have been gay, well that’s out the window.

What about the Mexicans, have they been a thing yet?

Even that ridiculous mustache couldn’t compare to Trump’s hair.

I don’t have a clever angle,

I just want these people to,

even on their deathbeds,

like all those segregationists,

who died sad and hollow,

like all those confederate politicians,

all those Jim Crowes,

all those Apartheid supporters,

cowardly sipping tea,

to acknowledge what you’re doing,

because we are coming for your fucking heads.


Matt Ralston is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewRalston

4 thoughts on “Why The Alt-Right Are Cowards, And Pussies

  1. Pingback: Why The Alt-Right Are Cowards, And Pussies – Kiwi Lead

  2. Reply Debly May 25,2017 6:22 am

    Is this a joke?
    You do know for sure and created the idea of this being a white supremacist symbol after this photo was taken just to see the world go crazy over nothing.
    It’s a symbol to say ok.
    I use the symbol to say what I’m eating is delicious

  3. Reply Donald May 25,2017 5:15 pm

    Seriously, Debly??? You straighten your suit jacket with three fingers out on each side (with closed index finger and thumb to form a circle, no less, while straightening said jacket) when your food is delicious? I don’t believe you.

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