An Open Letter To Pat Lynch

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This is an open letter to Pat Lynch, the head of the Policemen’s Benevolent Association, which is a pretentious moniker that means the NYPD Union if you aren’t boned up on your Shakespeare or doublespeak.

Dear Pat Lynch:

Fuck you. I noticed you blamed the people protesting the deaths of people your organization murdered because two of your officers were also murdered. Turns out the guy who shot them wasn’t at the protests. What are the odds? I don’t find it impressive you were able to convince your stupid pig force to turn their backs on the mayor during the funeral of your murdered officer. Turns out they’ll do whatever you tell them. Because they’re fucking idiots. Like you. Turn your back. Sit behind this tree and write tickets. Screw the terrorists, that guy’s missing his front license plate! Stop and frisk this guy for walking down the street for freedom! Set up some road blocks. Grow your disgusting distended gut out and put on some mirrored sunglasses.

Fuck you.

I found it comical you would blame protesters for this tragedy. I’ve been to anti-war marches and seen thugs like yourself hassle peaceful activists. You’re a big fan of tear gas and billy clubs and riot gear correct?

Fuck you.

It is, everything aside, tragic that the two police officers were murdered.

It is, everything aside, tragic that people in your organization murdered a guy for selling single cigarettes.

In both cases, the cause of death according to the coroner is Homicide.

I believe all lives are equal.

America is a country which is supposed to stand for freedom. Unless you have anything to do with it, Pat Lynch. Your officers are supposed to enforce laws to make freedom possible. Yet isn’t it ironic you’re so dead set against the expression of freedom? That you actually have a bone to pick with it when it is acted out in person and not just written in your son’s text book? Have you lost your way Pat? Have you forgotten what you are paid for? Do you not know the definition of benelovence?

Was it Kelly Thomas’ fault your brethren murdered him too? What a dick that guy was. Getting killed and making a big deal about it. Was it the people who showed up to protest his death’s fault that your thugs shot rubber bullets and tear gas at them simply because it was a way to win an argument?

Are you a fucking schoolyard bully in a dumb fucking outfit Pat Lynch?

It’s so irritating when people get upset at you right Pat?

Fight on your own time in your crumby dive bar. Pull out your gun in traffic. I don’t give a shit. But realize we don’t issue you guns so you can show us who’s in charge. Asshole.

Fuck you.

Innocent people are dead.

And you turn your back on the Mayor.

That means you think You are allowed to protest and We aren’t.

You got it backwards you dumb fuck.

You look out for us.

Not the other way around.

Fuck you again.


Matt Ralston

rip Eric Garner, Amadou Diallo, Wenjian Liu, Rafael Ramos and all the others.

fuck you Pat Lynch 




Matt Ralston is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewRalston

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