Listening To Justin Bieber Is Supporting Rape

I don’t have any definitive proof Usher molested Justin Bieber, I just believe it to be true much like people involved in the Catholic Church would believe the opposite when confronted with notarized documentation. A lot of black people I know will spin you a media conspiracy when it comes to Michael Jackson being a pederast yet I’d hope if a grown man wanted to sleep in the same bed with their child they’d slap that person in the mouth and file a police report regardless of the strenpth of that person’s dance moves.

I first suspected something was askew when tiny headed creepy closet gay guy Usher was hanging out with a 14 year old Bieber when Usher was 31.

If I had a 31 year old buddy and his friend was 14 years old and not related to him I’d automatically call the cops on him. Granted, I’m not a fan of Justin Bieber’s music. When I listen to it, it mostly sounds like a twink who was molested and had a few failed assholes write shitty songs for him.

I was recently accused of victim blaming on this issue. I would argue listening to Justin Bieber on corporate radio encourages child rape and that the experience of being exposed to Justin Bieber essentially equates to my being culturally raped. Granted it’s not his fault. Neither is his music.

Usher is from the south, where the bulk of domestic child molestation occurs. This is because people there don’t pay state taxes so their education system sucks and they also appear to celebrate this over meats and three chords. This is by design. The government keeps people ignorant and those are the redder states. The majority of porn stars come from the south, do the math. At what age was Usher discovered? Age 10? Interesting.

Usher formed a record label with some creepy fuck named Scooter Braun, whose name obviously confirms that he’s a child molester. The official Wikipedia narrative goes that Braun was discovering diminutive teenage mediocre twink talent when he:

“Clicked on one of Bieber’s 2007 videos by accident.”

Oh really was the NAMBLA site slowing down Firefox? When was the last time you accidentally clicked on something and then watched it in its entirety? Isn’t that what you tell your fat wife when she rummages your browsing history and discovers the thin porn? I’m going to assume Braun was looking at videos of kiddy pageants the same way I’m assuming Michael Jackson is guilty. I’m right.

This is part of current corporate music culture. Go ahead and Google Lou Pearlman. It might not be covered on the news so much, because the news and the record labels are conjointly owned. Marginally talented chicks like Kesha and Rihanna and essentially every other female pop star with a few notable exceptions like Adele fucked a dude to get the gig. You have to when you can’t write songs or play an instrument. Listen to a Britney Spears track and tell me Jamal Mashburn couldn’t have stood in. They’re a face for nerdy Scandinavian dudes to make whatever cynically shitty song they want and then laugh about dumb Americans over a clove cigarette. Pop artists are increasingly arbitrary in nature and don’t know they’re being used, yet their egos remain unchecked and to be fair they probably don’t care. It shows. They provide filler for Clear Channel, which has renamed itself IHeartRadio because they know their audience is fucking retarded and easily herded into genocide or slightly lesser offenses like listening to Justin Bieber.

The point is, if you actually claim Justin Bieber’s music is good, you’re encouraging child rape. Guys who weren’t molested and play guitar on stage can actually play a guitar beyond remedial level. You just don’t get the gig otherwise, unless you’re empirically talented. Jimi Hendrix probably wasn’t raped.

Watch this and tell me I’m wrong. Usher’s a devout Christian. What are the odds? Let’s just vote Ted Cruz, our culture is fucked anyway. Burn motherfucker, burn.

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Matt Ralston is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewRalston

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