Donald Trump is gaining momentum among likely Republican primary voters and is currently leading the polls in North Carolina. Trump is doing well with people who identify as ‘very conservative’ (66%), as well as younger voters (29%) and men (20%).
He is also killing it in the ‘asshole’ demo (100%), as well as the publicly racist contingency (98%) and with complete fucking morons (78%.)
Clearly the asshole demo is going to make or break Trump. It remains difficult to ascertain exactly how many asshole voters make up the Republican party. People rarely identify as asshole when answering telephone polls. Apparently there is still a stigma. The closest current estimates are oddly identical to the numbers of people supporting Trump in the primaries.
The asshole vote has historically never swung an election. For an historical context, every time in our nation’s great history there has been a federal, state, or local election and one has the option to “Write In” a candidate, there have inevitably been a plethora of hilarious novelty responses such as “Mickey Mouse” “Madonna” or “Mitt Romney.”
Outside of a few anarchistic rebels using the Write In feature as a sociopolitical commentary on the futility of our current two party system, the majority of these people have simply been assholes.
Assholes have not historically turned up in such great numbers to support any one candidate.
It is inspiring that in the wake of the Marriage Equality ruling, assholes are now finding their way into mainstream society and no longer being shunned simply because they are assholes. We need new leaders who support assholes. Leaders who are assholes.
Complicating matters further, the Republican party has always been comprised almost exclusively of assholes, but with two important subsets similar to the differences between Sunnis and Shias in Islam.
Their main contingency of assholes is dumb southern illiterate racist assholes. As mentioned before, these assholes have historically turned up in relatively low numbers, hence Kid Rock never won an election based on write in votes.
The second class of Republican assholes are rich non-compassionate assholes. These assholes usually inherited a lot of money and hate anyone not in their yacht club.
Trump appears to be healing the rift between these assholes, since he is both racist and an untravelled papa’s boy with a myopic world view prone to displays of what is frankly a rather gay lavishness.
If he holds on to the asshole demo he may have a chance.
He’ll also look to corner the ‘I hate immigrants except for Jorge from maintenance, he’s cool’ contingency as well as the ‘I’ve never voted before, but this guy speaks to me’ demo of people who will be dead of fireworks accidents or bathtub heroin overdoses prior to voting day.
Show Your Asshole. Be Proud. Vote Trump.