How Creepy is the Pledge of Allegiance? 2

As freedom loving Americans, we all know that nobody is as free as we are. We can do whatever we want, except for a bunch of things that are illegal. But that doesn’t matter, we still know that America is The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave.

How do we know this? Well because like any free-thinking individualistic society, we have to be told this before sporting events and memorize and recite it as children.

We find it easy to judge  communist countries as totalitarian hell holes, or to be more specific, not-free. 

I love how every time the news does a story about North Korea they show their military marching in unison and kicking their feet out. Because we all know that North Korea is the only country in the world that has a military which marches right?

In fact the United States Army, before they invade a country, has a ritual where they shotgun a Coors Light and make helicopter movements with their dicks. They show this footage on the news in other countries before we bomb them and kill a bunch of their people, and it pisses them off, because we’re so special.

We sometimes feel the need to bomb these other countries because we have to liberate them as they’ve been indoctrinated into a system which only rewards a select percentage of their population.

In fact, the two groups present in any given country which we bomb and kill people are 1) An evil organization which is brain washing the populous and 2) The populous, (which we also kill.)

So, aside from Commies, Socialists, and Nazis, who would possibly have the balls to try and indoctrinate their population into some weird subservient cult?

Remember the Pledge of Allegiance? A saying in which you literally had to put your hand on your heart, stare at a flag, and repeat every morning in school? To the point where you were just saying the words and didn’t even really know what it meant?

Wait, what do you call that? Freedom motherfucker, that’s what.

One Nation, Under God… Um, okay. Can I raise my hand here? We are in a public school, I thought there was a Church and State issue here, no? Oh, okay.

With Liberty and Justice for All… Wait? Isn’t it a known fact that an innocent man named Cameron Todd Willingham was executed by the state of Texas in 2004? And he’s a white guy!

Of course nobody believes any of that shit. What we are actually pledging allegiance to is money.

The guy who is responsible for the Pledge of Allegiance being mumbled in schools is Francis Bellamy – a minister and businessman who wrote the pledge because he sold flags. This is true.

Then he had school-aged children approach schools and sell them flags because, without a flag, they were doing it wrong.

So, he made a lot of money, and for that, we salute him.