I recently read a study examining why firefighters are considered to be symbols of sexuality among women. It theorized that women are instinctively drawn to firefighters because they rescue people, and kitties. They are symbols of valiance. Your estrogen suggests they could swoop in and whisk you away to ecstasy the same way they scoop up the kitty cats in the trees.
I started thinking it was odd that policemen are almost never mentioned in similar terms anymore. Most police forces emblazon a variation of “Protect and Serve” on their cruisers, yet wouldn’t women be fetishizing them more if that screed were accurate? If cops in this country were focussed on helping citizens rather than extracting fines and abusing them, would it not be reflected in at least one goddamn calendar?
The collective police forces across this country have shown their hands, and this is proof that they are not on our side. Biologically triggered proof. The site of a cop causes women to recoil as if sensing a predator, not fawn over a knight in shining armor. Perhaps its because women are routinely hassled by police and given bullshit speeding tickets, parking tickets and jaywalking tickets and feel their menacing presence eroding our freedom.
In the name of fairness I can think of a few other factors which might make firefighters more attractive than cops:
– Firefighters have higher physical fitness qualifications so they are more likely to be physically fit.
– Firefighters hang out in their firehouse and work out all the time, whereas cops sit in a car all day. Cops aren’t required to stay in condition so they develop huge guts since their only exercise is assaulting black people.
– Firefighters have lesser grooming standards and therefore don’t often rock those petite little imasculine mustaches that many cops have such as this fucking loser who gave me a ticket for turning left onto my own street when there was no traffic.
– Firefighters aren’t still pissed about not making the football team so their attitudes aren’t snide.
– Firefighters don’t give the cats they rescue tickets.
It doesn’t seem long ago that cops actually attempted to do their jobs and help and protect people. Think about the last few times you’ve interacted with a cop. Were they helping you, extracting money from you, or standing around scratching their asses while exhibiting their presence?
Try asking a cop to Protect or Serve you.
Walk up to one sitting on his motorcycle with a radar gun pointed forward and see if he’ll give you a hand with a flat tire. Tell them your car broke down and you need a ride across town. After they finish laughing at your naive civilian ass they’ll tell you to move along.
Call a firehouse and tell them your cat is stuck in a tree and they’ll send nineteen trucks with horns blaring through the streets even though no fire is involved. I see a ton of firemen but never any fires, which is weird.
Anyway apart from circumstantial and anecdotal evidence such as the current happenings in Ferguson Missouri that police forces across this country are militarizing themselves in order to oppress you in a variety of ways, be it monetarily or forcefully, we can add biological response to the list of proof.
This is why I must attain my seat on West Hollywood’s City Council, because everyone else there seems to think they are doing a swell job. I might even dress up like a firefighter to solidify the women’s vote if you are lucky.