I’ve seen a lot of lists about which jobs are the most stressful or most difficult to get. Yet nobody talks about the impending difficulty of the job once you attain it. So I made this list of the Most Overrated Jobs in the world.
An overrated job is one of high esteem which basically any non-disabled person can do.
1. Sports Sideline Reporter. Any person who can talk can do this job, although it helps if you’re adept at clomping around in heels. The job entails talking for roughly ninety seconds of a two hour telecast at which point you relay some fantastically uninteresting anecdote about a player’s mother who is in the stands with bad hair. There is a fair amount of nepotism involved which is why Erin Andrews has been christened as being good at this job, which I’m convinced was developed so the broadcasters could take a piss break. If you can be generically attractive that helps.
2. DJ. Any person who is not deaf or over the age of 50 can do this job. This is why you see reality TV stars involved because they suck at everything else. This job either entails pressing play on an iPod or in advanced stages putting records onto turntables and sliding a mixer button at the appropriate time, usually after the chorus of a song everybody knows. This can be mastered in 22 minutes which is not coincidentally the length of network sitcoms. You also have to be able to get a headset and put one of the ear pads on your ear and hold the other one on the side of your head while you bob it out of synch with the music you’re playing.
3. Photographer. You push a button on a camera. Sometimes you have to set up lights. This job also entails going on vacations or hanging out with models and never smiling. Wearing a stupid hat is recommended.
4. Model. You don’t have to be hot to be a model anymore because of the lawsuits and a vocal minority of fat people who think anyone thinner than them must be anorexic. Once you get this job you have to be able to walk. It also helps if nobody wants to hire you for acting work and you suck at singing.
5. Psychologist. Anyone who is non-threatening can do this job so if you are over seven feet tall do not apply. If you are good at this job and able to solve people’s problems they will no longer need to come and see you and you won’t have any clients. Thus it is beneficial for you to be pretty bad at your job. If you ever wanted to be a professional friend in kindergarten this is your calling. Wear neutral colors.
6. Mother. Being a mother entails looking after the children that came out of you. It is certainly not easy, but it is most definitely an overrated job since many people who like cliches are fond of stating it is the “Most difficult job in the world.” Given there are six billion people in the world and most of them have mothers that would also make it one of the most common jobs in the world. Jobs work on supply and demand. If there are three billion mothers, by definition it can’t be the most difficult job because there are only a hand full of code breakers. You also get to stay home all day and sometimes doll out some applesauce. Difficult jobs pay.
7. Ad Copy Writer. Don’t let Mad Men fool you, any moron can string together two sentences. Americans are feverish consumers because they’re afraid of the news. You don’t really need to sell them things so much as present buying them as an option. Beef: It’s What’s For Dinner. Could you have thought of that? Me too.
8. News Anchor. This job entails reading a teleprompter in an extremely unnatural cadence and occasionally making really awkward jokes. You’re supposed to have good hair but if not you can wear a wig. Basically figure out how a human would act and do the opposite. It takes a little training but trust me anyone can do it.
That is my list of Overrated Jobs, stay tuned for the list of Underrated Jobs.