The Most Underrated Events Ever 1

Given a lot of over hyped coverage about something as trivial as a new pope, I thought it would be fun to do a report on the most underrated events ever. As Americans, we’re constantly exposed to a television news presence which reports on idiotic nonsense like Miley Cyrus and ignores relevant information such as the fact that Barrack Obama’s administration has just signed a National Defense Authorization Act which would allow for the indefinite detention of American citizens without trial. We don’t really get any interesting news reported on in mainstream media. This is because they are owned by giant multi-national conglomerates who profit from making the general public fatter and stupider. I don’t have time to list all of them, and there are certainly some that I’m leaving out, but these, off the top of my head, are what I believe to be the most underrated events ever.

1) When I was about nine I was watching a random episode of Wheel of Fortune and Pat Sajak had to take a time-out in the middle of the show to apologize to one of the contestants for punching him in the face on the previous show. He just told the guy that he had gotten on his nerves and that he had to punch him. It has never been reported on that I know of – although it has come out that Sajak and Vanna White got hammered before some of the shows.

2) Liberace got his boyfriend plastic surgery to look exactly like him.

3) The CIA tested the effects of crack on a population by selling it to black people in black neighborhoods in the United States in the 1980’s.

4) Keanu Reeves is in movies.

5) In the 1970’s there was a major argument among straight music fans about whether or not Freddie Mercury was gay.

6) The porn star Houston made a movie called The Houston 620 in which she had sex with 620 men in one day. Houston is still alive.

7) Two members of the Cleveland Cavaliers had sex with Lebron James’ mom. First Ricky Davis did, and later Delonte West. Lebron walked in on his teammate banging his mom and reacted by essentially throwing the Eastern Conference Finals in game 6.

8) The Citizens United case was passed by the Supreme Court. This should be at the top of the list of the most underrated events ever.

9) Clarence Thomas’ wife is a lobbyist for the healthcare industry.

10) Felix Baumgartner jumped from outer space, free-falled for 24 miles, and landed safely.

11) Stephen Hatch, an anesthesiologist and flying enthusiast crashed a plane in 2003 and killed his wife, and two of his children. Only he and his son Austin survived the crash. A few years later, he crashed another plane and killed himself and his new wife. His son Austin again survived but with serious injuries. He plans to play basketball for the University of Michigan next year.

12) Gallagher.

13) Dock Ellis threw a no-hitter while tripping on acid.

These are just some of the most underrated events ever. I didn’t have time to get to all of them and I’m sure I missed some, but at the end of the day I can definitely assert that they’re more interesting than Lindsay Lohan’s herpes.

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Matt Ralston is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewRalston

One comment on “The Most Underrated Events Ever

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