Why CNN is a Joke Part II 1

As explained in Part I, CNN is a fucking joke that should only be watched if you want to giggle at something ridiculous and run out of Nazi porn.

So, where I left off – Wolf Blitzer is in the film Skyfall playing himself as “CNN News Anchor.”

Why is this troubling? Well, Blitzer is supposed to be playing a news anchor in real life. We all know that CNN is basically fiction, but aren’t they supposed to be fighting against that perception instead of embracing it by having one of their poster boys report on the antics of a  homosexual Bond villain while on TV while in a movie?

I’ve noticed this phenomenon often recently in the United States. Shitty is in.

Shitty is the new cool.

I don’t know when it started, but it was around the time that young girls started idolizing a materialistic herpes-ridden uneducated amateur porn-skank with a lazy eye and bony ass named Paris Hilton who’s main claim to fame was that she had never done shit and was dumb.

This unapologetic groseness is escalating like a hockey-stick on graph paper but its current high-point is a sandwich released by Jack in the Box called the Hot Mess.

The Hot Mess is a burger with mayo, jack cheese, cheddar cheese, onion rings, and jalapenos, served on sourdough bread.

We all know that Jack in the Box is disgusting, but didn’t they used to try and hide it? When did it become acceptable to not only admit that your sandwich is made of sloppy self-hatred, but to actually brag about it by, from the looks of it deliberately crafting a parody of a bad meal and then actually calling it a mess without shame?

I guess this has been going on for years.

I remember in junior high school if something was cool we’d call it pimp. Like those shoes are pimp. You know, like a guy who beats the shit out of hookers and enslaves them with mind-control because they come from traumatic backgrounds and desperately seek the approval of a male figure even if he’s a violent criminal with no teeth?

Bro, so pimpin’!

So then we got Snoop Dogg, who I always assumed was a fucking joke too, but what do I know? Isn’t Blitzer just as ridiculous as Snoop?

Just as I’ve seen white-trash crackers not understand the irony of Snoop, if there is any, I think that a majority of people also believe that Wolf Blitzer reports actual news, and if they see a YouTube video of his cameo from Skyfall they’ll just as easily assume that there’s a Bond villain on the loose as they will that some Marines killed Bin Laden and then performed some Muslim burial rites on his corpse before dumping it into the middle of the ocean.

I don’t know which is funnier.

I’ll have to explain how this all ties together in Part III.