How to React to a Douchebag 2

A few weeks ago I was traveling near Santa Barbara and I stopped to get gas. This was one of those large rural gas stations, so it contained a fully functioning Subway sandwich stand inside. I was thirsty, and I saw that the Subway had a fountain-drink station. Perfect! So as I’m paying for my gas I say to the man in charge, of a Middle-Eastern nationality that I couldn’t pinpoint,

“I would also like a fountain drink.”

At this point, he launched into a mostly unintelligible manic rant that went something like this,

“You bring it, then you pay! If you don’t have, bring it up! I don’t know what it is!”

He was trying to indicate that I needed to provide him with the actual cup, which was located five feet from the both of us, but the way he was presenting this information was completely shocking to me, as though he were telling me how to reel in a thousand pound marlin that I had hooked on his boat.

I tried briefly to calmly explain that I wanted a fountain-drink and I didn’t understand why he couldn’t simply ring it up. I looked at the two Mexican gentlemen behind the sandwich station in an attempt to bring some levity to the situation. They just shook their heads at me to convey that this guy was a dick and that he apparently behaves this way all the time.

As the guy was still yelling fragmented nonsense I said nevermind, twenty on pump 12, slammed it on the counter and walked out.

I am a huge proponent of telling anyone who deserves it to fuck off. I never regret it, given the correct situation, which for most people probably arises once every few weeks.

As I was pumping gas, I felt my blood-pressure rising. Who did this guy think he was? I wasn’t about to let this ruin my day. I finished pumping and went back in.

In the three minutes it had taken me to pump the gas, the number of customers in the station had risen from zero to about ten. I walked inside and immediately launched into a rant nearly as incoherent as the guy’s had been minutes earlier.

“You know, you shouldn’t treat people like that! It isn’t polite! You have a job to do, I have somewhere to go, why can’t we all just be civil? I’m sorry you hate your job! Karma is a bitch man!”

I noticed a woman holding her toddler close to her hip. People looked in my direction uncomfortably, refusing to make eye contact. In a matter of minutes, the tables had turned. I was now the crazy guy. I muttered something about how the guy was a dick earlier, but I know that trying to explain to people that you aren’t crazy just makes you look way more crazy. As I left he gave me a simple fuck you!

Walking outside and getting ready to leave, the Mexican guys, apparently taking a break, laughed at me and gave me a sarcastic thumbs up and I felt kind of stupid – although I’m pretty sure they had appreciated the gesture.

Here’s my point, and it isn’t very subtle: If someone deserves to be yelled at, it has to be right away. Once you hesitate, its over. And I think that people who behave worthy of being yelled at know this. So, just go for it.