Permissive Parenting is one of the three types of parenting originally identified by psychologist Diana Baumrind. It is essentially defined as being a friend of the child more than a parent. It is traditionally considered a really fucked up way to raise a kid.
I personally think it is now standard and reflects a growing pervasiveness of narcissism in society, both for children and parents.
I know what you’re thinking:
“Matt, you don’t even have children. How are you qualified to comment on this?”
Well, I know a lot of parents. And most of these parents think their kids are the Lord Reincarnate, so their perspectives are equally skewed.
These people center their lives around the wishes of their children, whom they are living vicariously through because everyone already knows they themselves kind of suck.
Now, I live in L.A., but have you been to a kid’s birthday party recently? The ones I have been to are these huge elaborately thrown events. For a two-year old who doesn’t know what a party is.
This is the scene for these parents. They’re constantly going to kid-centered events – interpretive dance recitals featuring people who can barely walk.
But do any of these parents really want to be there?
Why are they constantly trekking around to these meaningless displays which have no educational value for the children and are engineered to stroke their egos?
Because these parents are bringing their kids along as wing-kids.
I didn’t go to a lot of parties as a three year old.
I went mostly to the hardware store with my dad, because he had to go there, and was an actual parent, not a nanny-contractor.
I would wander around, stick the plungers on my belly, throw the springs at the floor and watch them bounce around. I especially loved the display doors because you could walk through all of the different ones and imagine you were in a different room every time.
Same went for kids who hung out in their mom’s law offices or meat-packing plants. Whatever. It was an experience that didn’t revolve around us, and it was valuable because it exposed us to different environments.
Your kids shouldn’t always be the center of attention. It will turn them into assholes later in life.
Like the kind of assholes who don’t want the other parents at their kid’s Ivy-League Kindergarten to whisper about them not being involved enough, so they throw their embryo a catered carnival with private Tilt-A-Whirls.
Be an adult and admit you just want to barbecue some ribs and get fucked with your friends. It’s a birthday? Cool, buy a cake. The kids can play in the mud. They’ll have more fun. You’ll have more fun. It will be better off for everyone.
The effects of permissive parenting are no longer ignorable. Its time for you to grow up or your kids never will.