This has happened to me twice, I’m on a flight, the flight sucks because the government has allowed all these already shit airlines to merge together creating a lack of competition, leading to Velcro magazine pockets on rickety old planes because there is now zero need to invest upkeep in your slumlord airlines, thirty guys get richer and a few hundred million get\u00a0inconvenienced and poorer. Thanks Republicans! I am legitimately pissed about this or that on about half my flights,\u00a0so I Tweet that the airline sucks. On this flight I was livid.<\/p>\n
A quick recap of why:<\/p>\n
7:30: Wake up. Unable to check in online. Call US Airways. They have merged with American Airlines. Call American Airlines. Wait on hold 40 minutes. Give up.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n 8:20: Arrive at airport. Go to American Airlines’ counter inside the terminal. Want to get a better seat. My traveling companion and I don’t have seats next to each other. Want to change that. Nobody behind counter even though the flight leaves in 30 minutes.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n 8:30: Go back to counter. Airline representative is making a personal call about her nephew paying a speeding ticket. She does not acknowledge me and instead of ending the call switches to a new subject. I yell “Fuck it” and walk away. She does not look up.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n 8:45: Plane is boarding. I set a moving screen to locate\u00a0the only employee available and ask about changing my seat. She says I cannot at this point. I say at what point could I have? She does not understand the question and keeps saying I cannot at this point. I say, can I at a later point then?\u00a0She says not at this point. This goes on for five minutes.<\/em><\/p>\n 8:50: Board Plane. My seat bottom is detached from the metal part of the plane. It is just a flotation device which I can easily pick up above my head. I say I need a new seat. They say there is nothing I can do. I say get me off the plane. I am given a new seat.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n 8:52: Discover my new seat has a baggie of puke in the magazine holder.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n 9:00. Luckily I had some mini bottles of whisky in my bag. Begin to drink them because my hands are shaking from panic. I am not even afraid of flying. But wait til you sit down and your seat isn’t attached to the plane. Because this plane was designed during the Soviet era our flight attendant is strapped into a jump seat facing me about two feet away. He says I cannot drink my own alcohol on the plane. Notice there is no problem with drinking alcohol, you just have to pay American for it. I stare through him and continue doing it and he shuts the fuck up.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n I’m getting sick of these beleaguered money milking sorry excuses for airlines. I know there’s really nothing I can do outside of substantially increasing my income and flying private. The airlines have no reason\u00a0to help. There is only one going any given place, and soon there will be two major airlines controlling the market. So I’ll be on them again. But it fucking pisses me off. So I send out Tweets.<\/p>\n Below is a portion of my Twitter interaction, if you are curious. I\u00a0have had this happen with more than one airline. They respond to your initial tweet about how the airline sucks. They pretend to want to help, and do nothing. This is the most infuriating part. The airline is two faced, presenting one impression to the worldwide web, and a completely different one to the customer’s entire experience.<\/p>\n Corporate America has come out on top. And they don’t even have the decency to be a good villain. American Airlines is just a Mean Girl fake ass backstabbing coy little bitch. We are fucked. Its been real America.<\/p>\n @USAirways<\/a> @AmericanAir<\/a> @BarackObama<\/a> Fuck You! These two cunt airlines have merged to create a real worst case scenario.<\/p>\n \u2014 Matt Ralston (@Matthewralston) September 28, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n