{"id":1533,"date":"2014-11-11T21:30:03","date_gmt":"2014-11-11T21:30:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mattralston.net\/?p=1533"},"modified":"2014-11-11T21:40:43","modified_gmt":"2014-11-11T21:40:43","slug":"an-open-letter-to-jack-seiler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/politics\/an-open-letter-to-jack-seiler\/","title":{"rendered":"An Open Letter To Jack Seiler"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Seigler\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Jack Seiler is the scumbag Democratic mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He supports the multiple citations of $500 dollars and notice to appear in court of 90 year old Arnold Abbott, who has been organizing feedings of the city’s homeless population for over twenty years. Seiler has made feeding the homeless illegal in Fort Lauderdale because he is a Nazi inspired villain unleashed on this country to usher in the coming Apocalypse. Here is a letter I wrote to him:<\/p>\n

Dear Jack Seiler,<\/p>\n

When you wake up in the warm sheets of which you most certainly know the thread count and look at your stupid blockhead in the mirror, how do you feel about intimidating a 90 year old charity worker with your goons in badges? I thought you were a practicing Catholic. Is this what Jesus would have done? I think Jesus might have slapped you in your stupid face, or at the very least performed some sort of miracle that would make you die such as turning a can of Dr. Pepper into a can of powerful pepper spray.<\/p>\n

You’re a politician so I’m assuming you don’t fully understand the role of government. Basically it exists to serve society when society can’t serve itself. In this instance, we have a problem. People are hungry. Luckily society produced this guy named Arnold Abbott who happens to be a Christian like you, except there are a few differences. You’re the type of Christian who puts it on his resume the same way mine says I can juggle. He is the type of Christian who does Christian things, such as feed massive amounts of hungry people. He is a 90 year old benevolent character from a Disney movie and you are a gross beady eyed lawyer. Since Abbott has volunteered to feed the homeless, those people don’t need your stupid tax payer funded government program forcing them to fill out a box of paperwork for a bologna sandwich, which could prove troubling since at least a handfull of them think their given name is Henry IV of Westminster or Ulysses S. Grant.<\/p>\n

Government doesn’t exist for you to issue court appearances to people who are doing what government should be doing in the first place. If you have a problem with the homeless, why don’t you take a look at the tax laws in your comical punchline of a state. I’m sure you’re aware of a growing income disparity, often spurred on by egregious legislation such as fining people for feeding the homeless. I’m also pretty sure your wife hates you but that is for separate reasons. I’m basing this deductively since anyone so lost and forsaken as to make feeding homeless people a monetary offense is so twisted into hypocrisy that nobody could ever love them since they are an evil robot wearing a hairy man suit.<\/p>\n

I have some advice on how to handle this situation: Go up onto the roof of your crumby office, take a look around at the city you are sworn to serve, and nose dive off the edge of it. Your body will no doubt suffer some damage but whatever demon android the Bilderberg Group has installed into you as a power source should provide enough energy for you to crawl to Abbott’s house in your stupid politician costume. At that point issue an apology and try some of his green been casserole, its amazing. With any luck he will get your sparking body on your first ever bus ride to the local Lockheed Martin facility where they will uncross your wires and fix that stupid fucking look on your face.<\/p>\n

At this point you should go to your local Roman Catholic Diocese and beg forgiveness where they will counsel you to retire since you’re a devil pig. With any luck you’ll drop dead of a wiring malfunction right before your first post-retirement golf game with your racist friends and a few homeless people will steal your wallet and buy some Quizno’s with the cash.<\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n

Matt Ralston<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I invite you to share this as well as whatever other thoughts you may have with Mayor Seiler who may be reached at 954-828-5003 or via e-mail at jack.seiler@fortlauderdale.gov<\/a> or on Twitter @Jackseiler. Hit him up on Twitter!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jack Seiler is the scumbag Democratic mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He supports the multiple citations of $500 dollars and notice to appear in court of 90 year old Arnold Abbott, who has been organizing feedings of the city’s homeless population for over twenty years. Seiler has made feeding the homeless illegal in Fort Lauderdale …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[772,771],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1533"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1536,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533\/revisions\/1536"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}