{"id":1612,"date":"2015-02-01T00:37:10","date_gmt":"2015-02-01T00:37:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mattralston.net\/?p=1612"},"modified":"2015-02-01T01:36:10","modified_gmt":"2015-02-01T01:36:10","slug":"rim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/movies\/rim\/","title":{"rendered":"Above What Rim?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ra07_O2degM\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>I never understood the scene in the masterfully copacetic Above The Rim where Nutzo falls to his death while attempting to compete in a jumping contest.<\/p>\n<p>It begs a few questions:<\/p>\n<p>What was that backboard made of?<\/p>\n<p>How could it have sustained multiple bank shots and not a dude&#8217;s hand?<\/p>\n<p>Is Nutzo palming a Maddux era baseball stuffed with lead paint?<\/p>\n<p>Who designed this court?<\/p>\n<p>The city council should fire the planning commission immediately.<\/p>\n<p>Here we are bitching about liquor licenses and you allow a basketball court to be built on top of the General Hospital building which is surrounded by the type of glass people brake in Detroit for fun when they&#8217;re on crack?<\/p>\n<p>How has a ball never sailed through this glass?<\/p>\n<p>What kind of glass is this?<\/p>\n<p>Why did Nutzo skydive into a suicide prevention pad after he brazenly barged through the stained glass?<\/p>\n<p>This is the type of shit that leads you to play ball without a ball.<\/p>\n<p>For those unaware:<\/p>\n<p>Above The Rim was a blaxploitation film made in the early 90&#8217;s. It featured the black guy who scared Republican dads in that one Madonna video being\u00a0a silent dick which he&#8217;s good at.<\/p>\n<p>His\u00a0character&#8217;s name was Shep and his actual name is Leon, or as he is commonly known Leon Wortzkowski.<\/p>\n<p>Kyle Watson was played by a rising young actor named Kyle Watson.<\/p>\n<p>They pulled Oprah&#8217;s clips out of The Color Purple and her body double plays Kyle&#8217;s mom.<\/p>\n<p>She does some monologues while smoking one of those cigarettes McConaughey\u00a0used\u00a0in True Detective where you just keep inhaling all the smoke into your body and nothing is exhaled like a Prius.<\/p>\n<p>At a certain point Kyle and his obnoxious prop-ridden friend played by Marlon Waynes start bothering a bum for no reason and it&#8217;s unclear why the bum doesn&#8217;t beat the shit out of both of them.<\/p>\n<p>Turns out this bum (Bernie Mac) is Shep&#8217;s buddy from back in the day and they used to smoke crack together and play basketball without a ball like how crackheads do.<\/p>\n<p>Then Tupac comes into the movie and his pants are sagging so far on his miniature legs that he&#8217;s barely able to walk.<\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;s the bad guy in the movie and his name is Birdy.<\/p>\n<p>I am pretty sure the Birdy character is based on Suge Knight, who is much taller and doesn&#8217;t have as much of a bird looking face as Tupac.\u00a0They are just different type of birds.<\/p>\n<p>Jailbirds.<\/p>\n<p>Boom!<\/p>\n<p>Anyway:<\/p>\n<p>There is one white guy in the movie and he is wearing swim trunks and is doughy.<\/p>\n<p>A\u00a0bunch of people get shot and Shep bangs Kyle&#8217;s mom.<\/p>\n<p>Kyle goes on to star at Georgetown and then eventually contemplates suicide like Stephon Marbury and\u00a0many other high school greats.<\/p>\n<p>He ends up playing in Serbia with Shep and dying in a shoddy Soviet era 757 which crashes into a Monsanto field in flames.<\/p>\n<p>This all could have been avoided had some idiot not put a basketball hoop right in front of a five story drop without even an out of bounds zone.<\/p>\n<p>Even if the\u00a0dipshit director had picked up on this many lives could have been saved.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m pulling on my rainbow colored swim trunks and my Jordans.<\/p>\n<p>Does anyone know of a rooftop court and do you want to meet up around midnight?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I never understood the scene in the masterfully copacetic Above The Rim where Nutzo falls to his death while attempting to compete in a jumping contest. It begs a few questions: What was that backboard made of? How could it have sustained multiple bank shots and not a dude&#8217;s hand? Is Nutzo palming a Maddux &#8230;<a class=\"post-readmore\" href=\"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/movies\/rim\/\">read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[329],"tags":[792,791,793],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1612"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1615,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612\/revisions\/1615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}