This is the grossest thing I have ever seen happen.<\/p>\n
I was hanging out in Hollywood at the Burgundy Room. All the dudes there are constantly dressed up like punk rockers.<\/p>\n
I frankly don’t respect any adult man who purchases accessories other than ketchup.<\/p>\n
I don’t honestly know where you go to buy studded belts or hair dye, but I am quite sure that the bracelet section at any given mall has a lower eye contact ratio among men than the scat-porn section of your average skid row video store.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I’m hanging out in this bar and all of these poser assholes are standing around in their costumes.<\/p>\n
Literal costumes. If you dress up like a punk rocker, its cool on Halloween and that’s it. NO EXCEPTIONS.<\/p>\n
I know what you’re thinking.<\/p>\n
“What if you’re actually in a punk rock band?”<\/p>\n
Even worse. There aren’t any punk rock bands anymore, that was forty years ago. Dressing like a gay biker isn’t made better by jabbing two chords of some Sex Pistols bullshit which was actually created to make fun of people exactly like you.<\/p>\n
So, I’m trying to ignore whatever is happening, but I notice that this dude who looks like a faggy Cher next to me orders a Pabst.<\/p>\n
If you drink beer you know that Pabst is pretty fucking gross. So why do so many hipster assholes make a point to order it?<\/p>\n
Because they’re fucking morons.<\/p>\n
In case you didn’t know,\u00a0Pabst<\/em>\u00a0hasn’t been an actual company for around thirteen years. Multiple corporations have bought and transferred this label around like a shitty marble in the bottom of a brown paper bag and the beer that you identify with is the\u00a0exact\u00a0<\/em>same beer that is pumped into cans with different labels that are marketed to douchebags and posers of all kinds.\u00a0Olympia<\/em> for guys with fake beards and\u00a0Colt 45\u00a0<\/em>for trust fund kids in their homeless phase. Anyway, this unique individual goes to pay for his beer and pulls out, for the three dollar tab, a CHASE DEBIT CARD.<\/p>\n HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Fuck I just puked.<\/p>\n In 500 words I cannot explain how badly Chase has fucked up America. More so than beer has anyway.<\/p>\n Chase is a label of Morgan Stanley. And they also name it other things. In fact it is the reason that companies like Pabst don’t exist anymore.<\/p>\n And it all comes together. And its the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This is the grossest thing I have ever seen happen. I was hanging out in Hollywood at the Burgundy Room. All the dudes there are constantly dressed up like punk rockers. I frankly don’t respect any adult man who purchases accessories other than ketchup. I don’t honestly know where you go to buy studded belts …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[249,252,253,248,254],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/221"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=221"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/221\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":229,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/221\/revisions\/229"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=221"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=221"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=221"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/i><\/p>\n