{"id":2318,"date":"2016-03-06T22:55:29","date_gmt":"2016-03-06T22:55:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mattralston.net\/?p=2318"},"modified":"2016-03-06T23:47:03","modified_gmt":"2016-03-06T23:47:03","slug":"rip-republican-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/politics\/rip-republican-party\/","title":{"rendered":"RIP Republican Party"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Trump\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s an absolute joy watching the Republican party eat shit and die. You lazily\u00a0racist morons have gotten exactly what you asked for. Unprecedented in American history was a party on record as saying they would obstruct progress for eight years until their guy got\u00a0elected. It borders on treason, and it also didn’t work. Why are you untrained pitbull owning\u00a0McMansion WalMart patronizing piss brains so concerned about foreign terrorists when they’re right in front of your ruddy faces?\u00a0Their best idea was Jeb Bush. And those people will be hired again, on your dollar. Talk about privilege. Run on abortion so you can institute corporate welfare while peddling to the mayonnaise and Nascar crowd. You watch cars drive in a circle. Jeb’s guacabowle is right up your alley. Idiots.<\/p>\n

All Republicans are fucking douchebags<\/strong>. Democracts are douchebags too, but some of them have good intentions. It’s like the guy who goes to Popeye’s versus Wendy’s. One of them knows they’re being gross, the\u00a0other is just going through the motions. Generously speaking, roughly two percent of Republicans\u00a0actually benefit from the Bush Tax Cuts. Those are people making between 150-400k per year. For everyone else, it’s the fucking same exact thing. It’s interesting when you do minimal research to back up what you’re talking about. I\u00a0fancy it a hobby. Try it. There may be some additional benefits if you’re a billionaire as well. But you’re not a billionaire are you Kyle? You’re just kind of bi-curious and wear Oakleys with a backwards ball cap that appears to be slightly too tight. Here’s Donald Trump, cocksucker.<\/p>\n

Your party ran on gay hatred for the last twenty years, and conveniently just stopped caring about it. It’s almost like it wasn’t really important and they\u00a0were just tricking idiots. Marco Rubio was a Republican establishment favorite. He’s gay. I would guess that’s part of the reason he isn’t getting the push he once had. Because the guy who panders to homophobes used to suck cock in college. Ha! What are the odds? Roughly a hundred. Ted Cruz’s greasy Count Chocula ass is no stranger to the dick either. But the supreme irony is that your party’s probable nominee is Donald Trump. While he\u00a0consistently totes around a Russian beard, let’s look at the facts: He’s flamboyant and his resting face is a pout. He wears a wig and spray tans himself. He boasts exclusively about things which are regal and gaudy. Does he remind you a bit of Liberace? Trump is gayer than most gay guys I know. And those guys are super fucking gay.<\/p>\n

Phenoptosis –\u00a0<\/strong>S<\/em>ignifies the phenomenon of programmed death of an organism, i.e. that an organism’s genes include features that under certain circumstances will cause the organism to rapidly degenerate and die off. Phenoptosis is a common feature of living species, whose ramifications for humans is still being explored.<\/em><\/p>\n

The Republican party is dying off for the better of humanity, and it’s an absolutely glorious display. A Red Dwarf burning out brilliantly in front of our very eyes. Take it in, you fucking pickup truck placard purchasing cock smokers. Your frontrunner is a trust fund racist known for hosting a reality show featuring Dennis Rodman. You fucking dipshits with your Fox News propaganda can’t even follow the policy nuances of the debates\u00a0so you just yell\u00a0like you’re at one of your\u00a0WWE events. It’s Idiocracy come to life. And I don’t see you bragging much about it these days, with your fat wives and battering ram headed children.<\/p>\n

The racism your party has dispelled, fluctuating between overt and coy, has led you to the\u00a0current situation. A guy who studied for the project the night before and can’t articulate an actual belief beyond bigotry. Arrogance and building a wall. Ha! That signifies your stupid ass party in a nutshell. Idiots.<\/p>\n

The information is out there, and can’t even be suppressed by Koch Industries. Your\u00a0party is dead. Your most popular guy\u00a0is openly mocking you. It’s really\u00a0entertaining. Maybe the party will faction off into bad jeans and worse jeans, but in the meantime we still have this two party system. One of them isn’t sustainable and the other’s on its way out. So, in the meantime, here’s where you shut the fuck up for the rest of your lives, you blithering cocksuckers, and I expect an apology from each and every one of you.<\/p>\n

Say Mitt Romney with a straight face again, you stray neck hair baby lotion smelling motherfuckers. Check mate.<\/p>\n