The following are true accounts of people that I have known, and mostly hated, being complete losers. Much how making out with your frat-brother at that one drunken party makes you a permanent homosexual regardless of how many toddlers you have, or blowing a guy who paid your rent for a month makes you a filthy whore forever, these moves do not allow any room for reversal.<\/p>\n
These people are losers. These are their stories.<\/p>\n
1) I was dating a girl and I went over to her house one night. Upon arriving she informed me that she was brainstorming different flavors for the Lay’s Flavor Contest. This is a marketing promotion for idiots to advertise potato chips for free by submitting flavor ideas mandatorily via Facebook. Lay’s has clearly pre-determined that they’re going to collude with another PepsiCo brand for the new flavor, just so you know. There is a $10,000 dollar prize.<\/p>\n
Her idea: Wasabi and Soy Sauce. Brilliant. And obviously nobody else had thought of that. What are you going to do with your winnings babe?<\/p>\n
Okay, it was decently entertaining for a few minutes, so I started fucking around on the program and making up different flavor combinations. After I had submitted something like\u00a0watermelon pork-rind banana-bread<\/em>\u00a0she got kind weird and emotional and said:<\/p>\n “Hey, I’m serious about this. It’s a lot of money. Stop joking around.”<\/em><\/p>\n What a desperate loser.<\/p>\n 2) I was in Cheyenne, Wyoming, and I had asked a few locals what to do because I had a full day to kill. They told me that there was this really cool creek that had fishing and a hiking trail along it, so I went to go find it, but I got lost. I pulled up to this gas-station pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The guy behind the counter was kind of what you would expect from a gas-station attendant in Wyoming. So I say:<\/p>\n “Hey, I’m looking for the\u00a0creek<\/em>, do you know where it is?”<\/p>\n He said something like:<\/p>\n “No, I don’t believe I know what you’re talking about.”<\/p>\n I go,<\/p>\n “Really, there’s not a\u00a0creek\u00a0<\/em>around here?”<\/p>\n And he said no. I was very confused. I knew it was very close to where I was. And how many attractions does Cheyenne have? Clearly this guy was born and bred here. There must have been a misunderstanding.<\/p>\n “Really? It’s not around here?” I said, “Like, people told me that there were hiking trails and camp sites and everything.”<\/p>\n That’s when the guy perked up and said this:<\/p>\n “Oh, you mean the\u00a0crick.”<\/em><\/p>\n That’s how he pronounced it. C-R-I-K. Crick. Dumbfounded, I said,<\/p>\n “Yeah, the\u00a0creek.”<\/em><\/p>\n And he stared at me like I was speaking Mandarin. I knew at this point that the guy was pulling a serious move. I stared straight into his yocal pupils, swallowed my pride, and said:<\/p>\n “Oh, sorry, I meant the\u00a0crick.”<\/em><\/p>\n He nodded in approval. First right, second left, and its on your right.<\/p>\n What a fucking loser. Stay tuned for Loser Moves Part II. I actually have hundreds of examples of losers acting like losers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The following are true accounts of people that I have known, and mostly hated, being complete losers. Much how making out with your frat-brother at that one drunken party makes you a permanent homosexual regardless of how many toddlers you have, or blowing a guy who paid your rent for a month makes you a …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[311,312,310,309,308],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":262,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions\/262"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}