{"id":616,"date":"2013-10-15T06:57:17","date_gmt":"2013-10-15T06:57:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mattralston.net\/?p=616"},"modified":"2013-10-15T06:57:17","modified_gmt":"2013-10-15T06:57:17","slug":"some-athlete-nickname-suggestions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/uncategorized\/some-athlete-nickname-suggestions\/","title":{"rendered":"Some Athlete Nickname Suggestions"},"content":{"rendered":"

My favorite athlete nicknames are the ones that add a little bit of pizazz when they’re first explained to you.\u00a0Karl Malone was\u00a0The Mailman\u00a0<\/em>because he delivered.\u00a0John Brockman was labeled\u00a0The Brockness Monster<\/em> because he was rarely seen in games. With that in mind, here are some suggestions:<\/p>\n

Tony Romo –\u00a0The Timid Pervert –\u00a0<\/em>Because he always waits until the end of the night to throw a bad pass.\u00a0
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Andrew Bynum –\u00a0Decaf<\/em> – Because he is worthless.<\/p>\n

Steve Nash –\u00a0The Recently Signed Punk Band<\/em>– Because he was good before he moved to L.A.<\/p>\n

Peyton Manning –\u00a0The 9-11 Hijacker –\u00a0<\/em>Because he always throws a touchdown.<\/p>\n

Eli Manning –\u00a0The Kittie Cat –\u00a0<\/em>Because he gets less respect than his brother, but is still an important member of the family.<\/p>\n

Russell Wilson –\u00a0The Vegan Poser –\u00a0<\/em>Because he does well in Seattle.<\/p>\n

Ed Reed –\u00a0The Defense Attorney\u00a0<\/em>– Because he has always associated with a lot of murderers.<\/p>\n

James Harden –\u00a0The Sociology Professor<\/em> – Because he looks homeless, but has a lot to contribute.<\/p>\n

Eric Gordon –\u00a0Welfare\u00a0<\/em>– Because he doesn’t want to do anything and still get paid.<\/p>\n

Adrian Peterson –\u00a0The Chopped Contestant\u00a0<\/em>– Because he is talented, but doesn’t have much to work with.<\/p>\n

Ray Lewis –\u00a0Edward I of England –\u00a0<\/em>Because he killed some people but nobody remembers.<\/p>\n

Kobe Bryant –\u00a0The Virginia Tech Killer\u00a0<\/em>– Because he shoots a lot and creeps everybody out.<\/p>\n

The Kentucky Wildcats –\u00a0Enron<\/em> – Because they love to run up their stats at the end.<\/p>\n

Tim Duncan –\u00a0Citizen Kane<\/em> – Because he’s good, but you don’t want to watch him.<\/p>\n

Floyd Mayweather –\u00a0The Romantic Comedy\u00a0<\/em>– Because his fights are boring, predictable, and you know nobody’s going to get hurt in the end.<\/p>\n

Manny Pacquiao –\u00a0Bareback\u00a0<\/em>– Because he doesn’t want to get tested.\u00a0
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Matt Schaub –\u00a0Hey Man! –\u00a0<\/em>Because he’s some guy you barely know.<\/p>\n

Sidney Crosby –\u00a0The Administrator –\u00a0<\/em>Because nobody cares about what he does.<\/p>\n

Zach Randolph –\u00a0The Recently Diagnosed Artist with Erectile Disfunction –\u00a0<\/em>Because he goes hard in the paint.<\/p>\n

Russell Westbrook –\u00a0Cruise\u00a0<\/em>– Because he plays hard both ways.<\/p>\n

Michael Phelps –\u00a0Sperm\u00a0<\/em>– Because he’s an ugly swimmer.<\/p>\n

Tim Tebow –\u00a0The Soviet Tank –\u00a0<\/em>Because he doesn’t start anymore and God doesn’t like him.\u00a0
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Roger Federer –\u00a0The Annoying Prick<\/em> – Because he’s a guy who plays a lot of tennis.<\/p>\n

Aaron Hernandez –\u00a0Sunny D –\u00a0<\/em>Because he’s worse than O.J.<\/p>\n

Derek Jeter –\u00a0Mayonnaise\u00a0<\/em>– Because he’s bland and white people love him.<\/p>\n

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My favorite athlete nicknames are the ones that add a little bit of pizazz when they’re first explained to you.\u00a0Karl Malone was\u00a0The Mailman\u00a0because he delivered.\u00a0John Brockman was labeled\u00a0The Brockness Monster because he was rarely seen in games. With that in mind, here are some suggestions: Tony Romo –\u00a0The Timid Pervert –\u00a0Because he always waits until …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=616"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":617,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616\/revisions\/617"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}