{"id":689,"date":"2013-11-12T10:07:29","date_gmt":"2013-11-12T10:07:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mattralston.net\/?p=689"},"modified":"2013-11-12T10:26:17","modified_gmt":"2013-11-12T10:26:17","slug":"re-meet-friends-alienate-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/dating\/re-meet-friends-alienate-people\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Re-Meet Friends and Alienate People"},"content":{"rendered":"

How do I state this without sounding creepy – well, when I have a genuine connection with someone (meaning that I enjoy hanging out with them), I immediately categorize them as a friend<\/em>, whether I see them every day, or once a year.<\/p>\n

Like everyone, I have varying degrees of friends – but the basic criteria for calling someone a\u00a0friend\u00a0<\/em>in my book is this:<\/p>\n

If you did a blind study and asked someone if they were friends<\/em> with me, they’d say yes. Same would go for me. So we are friends.<\/p>\n

That being said, I have many people I consider\u00a0friends\u00a0<\/em>who I am excited to talk to when we bump into each other, but I don’t call them or text them or follow anything they are doing. I would be invited to their birthday party, but not a birthday dinner.<\/p>\n

Here’s the thing – I am currently satisfied with my regular rotation of friends whom I actually\u00a0communicate with on the reg<\/em>, but I live in L.A. partly as a manifestation of wanting to experience new things and meet new people – which I have.<\/p>\n

But I don’t often make\u00a0new friends<\/em> anymore. I am game if it happens as an organic process, but I’m probably a bit more on the guarded side.<\/p>\n

I’ve reached some unofficial quota. I have all of the emotional support, muted presence as an ear for my problems, and comedic influence\/antagonism I need.<\/p>\n

Even when I meet cool people, I’m like a chick saying,\u00a0you seem like a really nice guy, but I’m dating Mumford and Sons.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I have basically stopped courting new friends.<\/p>\n

But here is what I\u00a0have\u00a0<\/em>been doing: I have, fairly regularly, been pushing the boundaries of my casual\u00a0friendships<\/em> by attempting to escalate them if I see fit.<\/p>\n

Here’s my Move:<\/p>\n

If I run into a buddy of mine who I think is hilarious – but I have never really hung out with much (or ever) – and we get to talking, I will say:<\/p>\n

We should hang out.<\/em><\/p>\n

A clear violation of my own friendship code which states:\u00a0Only escalate if its organic.<\/em><\/p>\n

My invitation is usually met with a slight double take, a look that says,<\/p>\n

Matt, we are hanging out right now (you fucking weirdo.)<\/em><\/p>\n

I get it. I’d react the same way. The invitation conjures an uncomfortable mental picture of two guys sitting silently through a matinee, but I feel as though I should have immunity when it comes to judgement on such invitations, because, as I said\u00a0I don’t need friends.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My minor escalations have mostly been met with tenuous agreements – vague plans – the likes of which I would definitely make with little intention of following through were the shoe were on the other foot.<\/p>\n

We are all getting older and we have less free time.<\/p>\n

Do I consider myself a hero: Yes.<\/p>\n

Everyone always talks about\u00a0social justice<\/em>. And this is the ultimate form. I believe in conserving natural resources. I believe in supporting our work force here at home – in America.<\/p>\n

I am not in favor of outsourcing, for the record.<\/p>\n

In such case, why would I not want to invest in my own friends? Humanity? The children? These are the people who used to be children roughly thirty years ago – and they are\u00a0still\u00a0<\/em>our future.<\/p>\n

I will continue creeping out people I know – fighting the good fight.<\/p>\n

As the extremely corny and overrated Bob Marley said, in a fake broken accent which I will translate here:<\/p>\n

Every day the bucket goes to the well, but one day the bottom will drop out.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Alternatively, one of my favorite jams from Montessori School is this:<\/p>\n

Make new friends – but keep the old; one is silver and the other’s gold.<\/em><\/p>\n

Text me.<\/p>\n

Side Notes: The following is not in reference to any one person, as I have been doing this Move constantly as a social experiment of sorts, so, while I am open to hanging out with any of my friends, I am not being creepy towards any one individual.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How do I state this without sounding creepy – well, when I have a genuine connection with someone (meaning that I enjoy hanging out with them), I immediately categorize them as a friend, whether I see them every day, or once a year. Like everyone, I have varying degrees of friends – but the basic …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=689"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":703,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689\/revisions\/703"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattralston.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}