music Archives - Matt Ralston's Blog

How to Listen to Music

Feb

5

2020

Music is my least favorite thing to talk about. The careers of various artists and bands, what is good or not, when it’s all quite similar, I find this conversation boring. Any song that people like is a hand full of chords with some versus, a chorus, and sometimes a bridge. It’s marketed to different ...

Ghetto Cowboy Was A Game Changer

Jul

24

2017

If you’re not familiar with the song Ghetto Cowboy, by the group Mo Thugs, which was an offshoot of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, you may as well put a shotgun to your head right now. I suppose you haven’t seen Gone With The Wind either? Because I haven’t. Ghetto Cowboy is a narrative driven rap song in which several ...

The Guy From Linkin Park Has An Undiagnosed Pathology

Jun

24

2017

When Linkin Park first hit the heavily contrived airwaves I was sixteen years old. I remember thinking, why are these Fresno meth dealers on the radio? This was a strange time in pop music. Limp Bizkit was big. Korn. Puddle of Mudd. Nickelback. The entire movement could be best described as You’re Friend’s Shitty Cousins, who ...

Neil Diamond The Most Meta

Jan

13

2017

This is Neil Diamond singing Sweet Caroline at a fundraiser for his alma mater high school in Brooklyn. First off, mad respect. I have often wondered how Neil Diamond feels about Sweet Caroline being the de facto bad karaoke joint. The song is an ubiquitous punchline for describing a meatless song. There don’t appear to be ...

Demi Lovato And The Spin Game

Sep

19

2016

As a case study you can learn a lot about society from listening to Demi Lovato’s retarded musings on life. Lovato’s parents are white trash losers from New Mexico who thought it would be a good idea to let her drop out of junior high school to be molested by pederast hacky shit for brains ...

Prince’s Gay Appropriation Under Discussed

May

8

2016

I always thought it was in poor taste for Prince to have voiced his opposition to same sex marriage, when it appeared clear as night he was a gay guy. This assertion led me to be chastised, as many people wanted it to be known to me that Prince was straight, incredibly straight, to the ...

Bieber’s Love Yourself Raises Questions 10

Apr

24

2016

I’ve had the displeasure of listening to this stupid ass song on multiple occasions because I put it on my playlist. There’s actually a formula behind the music played on corporate radio. I know what you’re thinking: Wouldn’t having an inherent formula mean that said music is the opposite of art? Yes! Maybe that’s why he’s ...

Is 2 Chainz Making Criminal Threats In His Dumb Songs?

Nov

16

2015

An inordinate amount of rap songs reference murdering someone. I always wondered why, if Tupac wasn’t totally full of shit, would he would rap about killing people so often, sometimes going as far as to mention several details which, if true, would have been useful to homicide investigators. If you actually killed people, wouldn’t your ...

Billy Joel’s Annoying East Coast Bias 3

Apr

24

2015

We Didn’t Start The Fire is a fairly annoying song written by Billy Joel which I nonetheless listen to twice a week while running a nice bath because there’s something catchy about it. Same reason you keep having lunch with that hipster chick from work with the decent eyes. The song was written by Joel when he ...