Matt Ralston's Blog

Back In Alaska

Jan

14

2016

I went back to Fairbanks Alaska for the weekend because my friend passed away from a brain aneurism while watching over his newborn puppies in his basement. A few friends offered to buy mileage tickets so everyone could be together. I texted a few friends when I was coming in to see if I could get a ...

Is Being Gay A Big Deal Or Not?

Jan

2

2016

Pick one because it can’t be both. When the supreme court legalized gay marriage I celebrated, but it was a bit hampered. I knew the religious right egged into rabid ignorance by the Koch PACs would find some other issue to latch onto and generally rain on the parade of ...

Enjoying Some Pool Lounging Cop Killer Ambiance

Dec

28

2015

I was at the Hilton Waikoloa’s pool in Hawaii hanging out, enjoying a fourteen dollar gas station sandwich and listening to a local musician perform covers of American pop music with a distinctive island twist, meaning tunes by Slipknot and Ariana Grande come out sounding exactly the same. Having visited Hawaii many times I’m quite sure the guy ...

Merry Christmas, Assholes. 2

Dec

23

2015

It’s hard to gauge a sense of right and wrong in an increasingly partisan United States of America. Everyone seems to feel superior to some other group. It’s possible anyone who is deeply partisan is inherently wrong. Republicans are up front and slightly more bullish about their adherence to corporate welfare and class warfare. Democrats ...

Why Ronda Rousey Should Be Dead To You Too

Dec

14

2015

Ronda Rousey has a lot of balls. It takes balls to compete in the World Judo Championships and win. It takes balls to walk into a cage and try to maim some psycho with nothing to lose who hasn’t yet coped with childhood abuse and just wants to hurt somebody to make the voices stop. ...

Clothes Don’t Make The Man, Or Woman

Dec

8

2015

It occurred to me recently that I rarely see transgendered women (a woman who was born a man and became a woman) wearing gender neutral clothing. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, maybe I just don’t notice. Yet I wonder to what extent a person’s gender identity is determined by their clothing, or how clothing really matters ...

An Elderly Millennial Reflects On His Generation

Dec

3

2015

The commonly defined years of birth for the Millennial generation are between 1982-2001. Having been born in January of 1982 I recently realized that I am a proud Millennial. I would like to take this time, as one of the oldest surviving Millennials to give a brief retrospective of my generation. Please be respectful. We grew up withe the ...

Boycott Anyone Boycotting Zoolander 2

Nov

24

2015

Please sign the petition HERE to boycott people who are boycotting Zoolander 2! *** The trailer for Zoolander 2 has caused some outrage on social media because it features the actor Benedict Cumberbatch playing a pretentious androgynous model with no eyebrows, which is not out of the norm in the fashion industry. The character’s name ...

Waze Proves Artificial Intelligence Will Enslave Humanity

Nov

23

2015

Any discussion about the pros and cons of artificial intelligence inevitably devolves into whether or not computers will ever attain consciousness and then decide to overtake humanity. Even though they don’t yet have the power of conceptual thought, it’s widely assumed this is one of the first things they’ll decide to do before questioning what’s up with ...

Dear College Protestors: You’re Scaring Me

Nov

18

2015

Dear College Protestors: I am having a hard time finding my Safe Place when I watch what you are engaged in. I should explain that just watching television brings me great pain, as I am offended by several of the commercials and their hetero-normative pandering. I find, for example, all beer commercials to be symbols ...