Brie Larson Making Change

Brie Larson will be playing Captain Marvel in an upcoming film, likely to be followed by several shitty sequels. This makes Captain Marvel the first female Marvel character to have a stand-alone film, and comes on the heels of an upcoming Wonder Woman reboot. The general consensus is that we need more women playing superheroes. This sentiment shouldn’t go left unquestioned. Comic book fans are traditionally made up mostly of young boys. Diversifying is fine, but nobody is making a push to cast a dude as the next Bridget Jones. It wouldn’t make any sense.

Since coming to national light in Room, Larson has publicly embodied many of the incredibly annoying characteristics of third wave feminism. It appears she fancies herself a spokesperson for the cause because she played a sexual abuse victim in that movie, as there is a precedent for actors taking on causes based on roles they’ve played. It’s silly that Tom Hanks became a spokesman for the rights of veterans because he played a war hero in Saving Private Ryan. The thought process is equally dubious in Larson’s case, the difference being Tom Hanks doesn’t actually believe he stormed the beach at Normandy.

As evidence of her maniacal self obsession disguised as activism, Larson claimed in a recent interview that she booked Captain Marvel to set an example for young women:

“It took me a really long time. I had to sit with myself, think about my life and what I want out of it. Ultimately, I couldn’t deny the fact that this movie is everything I care about, everything that’s progressive and important and meaningful, and a symbol I wished I would’ve had growing up. I really, really feel like it’s worth it if it can bring understanding and confidence to young women—I’ll do it.”

So you doing what’s best for you just happens to be best for the rest of society. The movie which will pay you the most money based on salary, residuals, merchandising, sequels, appearances in future Marvel films, you did this to inspire confidence in young women? How convenient. I don’t believe you.

Let’s say you weren’t taking movie roles out of sheer omnipotence. Let’s say you were taking movie roles based purely on self interest. Wouldn’t you have done the exact same thing? Isn’t taking credit for supposed activism based on choices you’d be making anyway the precise definition of slacktivism? Isn’t this whole act incredibly transparent? Shouldn’t some shitty journalist ask her about this in an interview instead of taking her retarded musings with a grain of salt?

Playing a second rate comic book hero in a cheese dick film isn’t the first earth shattering demonstration of progressivism on Larson’s part.

At this year’s Academy Awards, Larson was tasked with presenting Casey Affleck his Oscar for Best Actor. Affleck was facing two separate lawsuits at the time by two women who worked with him on the pseudo-documentary I’m Still Here. One lawsuit, for $2 million, was filed by a fellow producer, who alleged Affleck used her hotel room to have sex with women, became angry when she refused to share a hotel room with him, and told a crew member to expose himself to her. Sounds fairly uncomfortable. I’d take the $2 million.

A second suit filed by a camera operator for $2.25 million alleges Affleck got into her bed and touched her while she was asleep.

I’m Still Here is a sort of half scripted documentary about actor Juaquin Phoenix having an existential crisis. It’s debaucherous, along the lines of Jackass. The people on camera are often clearly intoxicated. There is a scene where Phoenix appears to be doing real cocaine, or he’s just a really good actor, and appears to call some actual hookers, or women who very convincingly played hookers, and have sex with them on camera. There’s a scene where a guy puts his balls on another guy’s head. There’s a ton of nudity and pranks and pranks involving nudity. It appears the entire production was off the rails.

It should be noted that much of the dramatic conflict in the film derives from infighting among the cast and crew. Phoenix repeatedly yells at his personal assistant. Affleck, an actual producer of the film, gets into it on camera with Phoenix. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t, but the smart money says Affleck set up an onset culture of overstepping boundaries. Maybe that’s why he was mixing it up with the female producer. Maybe not.

That’s certainly not to excuse getting into bed with a crew member while she’s asleep. Affleck clearly made a mistake hiring women to work on a film where there was going to be a ton of drunken ass grabbing, and without knowing the specific details of the situation, he was clearly wrong. Yet he’s not quite Bill Cosby.

Regardless, Larson certainly doesn’t approve of this type of behavior, so after presenting the Oscar to Affleck she didn’t clap while everyone else was clapping and then gave him a cold awkward hug. You may or may not have noticed it. In a subsequent interview Larson was asked to explain her passive aggressiveness and simply stated:

“I think that whatever it was that I did onstage kind of spoke for itself. I’ve said all that I need to say about that topic.”

Not really. Muhammed Ali was arrested and lost the prime of his career for his beliefs. Rosa Parks lost her job and suffered death threats. Julian Assange can’t leave the Ecuadorian Embassy. You don’t clap in ballgowns and take lucrative film roles.

It’s unclear whether Larson is casting herself in this light because it is incredibly en vogue right now, or if she’s an unchecked delusional former child actor verging on the megalomaniacal. It appears to be the latter. Take this quote from her Instagram page posted on International Women’s Day:

“Here’s to women. Whatever your race, religion, sexual orientation, bank account amount, or documentation—I will spend the rest of my life working to raise you up.”

Jesus, fuck you. Brie Larson personifies the absolute worst of new age feminism. She’s entitled, believing every sleight to be the result of conspiratorial discrimination. She believes when she succeeds, she deserved more. She’s delusional in the effort she puts into the cause, and in the effect her token gestures may have. She thinks anyone gives a shit about her tweets. She’s a privileged white woman playing the victim card. She’s falsely humble. Her insane statements are met with sustained plausibility, no matter the amount of egotism they’re steeped in. She is a total blowhard asshole.

Nobody’s really questioning any of this, and the fact anyone would find her relatable is frightening.

What a fucking nightmare this person is, and all she symbolizes.


Matt Ralston is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewRalston

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