Tips on How to Read an Article on the Net 1

I don’t know about you, but I always find it is good to brush up on my academic fundamentals. A Professor friend of mine passed this along and I just thought I would share it.

How to Read an Article.

1) First you have to read the first two sentences. There is no getting around that.

2) Skim through the third sentence.

3) Open another window on your web browser, preferably a cat doing acrobatics, a sports box-score, a recipe for marmalade, whatever you want. Start reading that.

3) This is the hardest part: While skimming through the next three paragraphs of your original article with your left eye, attempt to follow whatever is going on in your new window with your right eye. This make take some practice, as only like five people in the world can do it.

4) Once you’ve finished reading your articles, you need to convince yourself that you’ve retained ALL of the information in your original article. This may take some time. You might want to do some meditation or chanting for an hour or so.

5) Scroll down to the comment section of your article.

6) Find a comment from someone who agrees with your point of view. Write a comment agreeing with them and slip in a totally unrelated point to the original article.

7) Find someone that you don’t agree with who has commented, and find an identifying factor about that person. Call them stupid and idiotic and don’t mention anything related to the article.

8) Call someone and tell them that you read the article twice and you’re really pissed off.

9) Check out another cat video, recipe, sports score.

10) Repeat.