matt ralston

Under 40 Is The New Black

Under 40 Is The New Black
When I read the NYPD’s Narcotics Division is under order to stop arresting suspects over age 40 I thought it was something out The Onion. Turns out this is real. The New York Post has uncovered some internal documents instructing division commanders to do just that. Officers who arrest suspects over age 40 for drug ...

Let’s Start Check Shaming

Let's Start Check Shaming
I can’t tell you how many times this has happened. I’m supposed to get a check in the mail for some work I did. It was supposed to arrive within two weeks and now it has been 17 days, meaning there is no possible way it was mailed on time. For the last week or so I’ve kept ...

So Many Guys Can Kick Floyd Mayweather’s Ass

So Many Guys Can Kick Floyd Mayweather's Ass
Like many of you I was irritated with everything leading up to the Floyd Mayweather fight, particularly its utterly predictable conclusion. The Nevada State Athletic Commission has chosen to overlook the fact that Mayweather is a serial woman beater at the behest of state lawmakers who want revenue from the fight. Pacquiao seemed psyched to ...

Dad Bods Are All The Rage

Dad Bods Are All The Rage
Legitimate news sources are glossing over drone strikes in Syria in favor of coverage about summer’s trendiest topic: Dad Bods. If you haven’t heard this term, congratulations. Dad Bods are slightly schlubby and go well with a mustard stain on your shirt. Leonardo DiCaprio is considered the main ambassador on the topic because he is going ...