Sports Archives - Matt Ralston's Blog

The NBA Has A Few Opportunists In Their Midst

Jun

14

2020

Noted flat-earther Kyrie Irving, it has been widely reported, has voiced his opposition to restarting the NBA season and has called for his peers to bypass it and instead focus on the Black Lives Matter movement, because one cannot be expected to retweet memes and play a basketball game in the same week. This is ...

LeBron James Perfectly Articulates Why Liberalism Isn’t Working

Oct

21

2019

After LeBron James made himself a popinjay of a transparent asshole by criticizing support for the protests in Hong Kong in the name of his (in the case of Nike, inhumane) business interests, he continued talking about the issue, cementing himself as a guy who is much less rhetorically savvy than he thinks he is. ...

How to Fix the NBA Draft Lottery and Free Agency

Mar

27

2019

NBA teams in small markets have always had a pronounced disadvantage in attracting free agents, as well as keeping their drafted players who are blossoming into max level superstars. It only makes sense that young guys would rather live in Miami or Los Angeles than Sacramento for personal reasons as well as branding opportunities, or ...

DeMarcus Cousins Is Elite At Getting Technical Fouls

Oct

31

2018

DeMarcus Cousins, a perennial contender for the NBA’s league leader in technical fouls, was ejected from Saturday’s game against the Knicks. What makes this an impressive feat is that Cousins was not suited up for the game, as he is rehabbing from an injury, so he managed to get ejected from the bench. This takes ...

The Big3 League Could Be NBA Jam

Jul

24

2018

From my perspective, the Big3 league has made one fatal error – being half court. I can’t take half court basketball seriously. Regardless of the talent I can’t shake the feeling I’m watching a bunch of guys get a lunch workout in at the YMCA. Every time someone takes the ball out I die a ...

Oral History of Britney Griner Vs Glory Johnson

Apr

11

2018

This has only happened once in professional sports. WNBA power forwards Britney Griner and Glory Johnson married each other, then got into a domestic dispute, were both arrested for domestic violence, and then played a game against each other afterwords. There has never been another instance of married, or divorced for that matter, people competing ...

How To Stop Holding In Football

Dec

4

2017

Holding. There’s nothing worse when you’re watching a football game than having a touchdown called back because an offensive lineman was called for holding on the play. Of the many annoying things about football the holding call is arguably the worst, because it appears to occur on most every down, and the whistling of it ...

The Chris Paul Clippers Really Were America’s Team

Jul

8

2017

They say the Dallas Cowboys are America’s Team, but I disagree. No team in the history of sports ever further embodied its concurrent America than the uber entitled, underachieving, constantly bitching Doc Rivers and Chris Paul era Los Angeles Clippers. The Cowboys were first labeled America’s Team in the late 70’s by a guy named ...

Why I Am Hating On Kevin Durant 6

Jun

14

2017

Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors and subsequently winning a Championship bothered me. A lot. If you’re one of those simple people who thinks proclaiming two syllables of mom slang can parachute you out of a discussion, you will say to me, You’re just being a Hater. And then your face bill go blank ...

Becca Longo Proves Title IX A Total Hypocrisy 3

Apr

14

2017

Becca Longo, an 18 year old high school senior, just signed a letter of intent to play for Adams State University’s football team. It is believed she is the first female to earn a scholarship to play college football. I know what you’re thinking, no, she’s not going to be playing defensive end. Place kicker. You ...