Matt Ralston

What The Left And Right Can Learn From Quantum Theory 2

Nov

28

2016

The new film Arrival touches on a basic theory of time, that it is never ending, or circular. The circle could be seen as a metaphor, but if you read Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time he explains that on a long enough plane, time can theoretically bend back onto itself due to the ...

Drunk Razor Ramon Jumped The Shark

Nov

22

2016

We’ve had reality TV since the 1950’s, but the mid-nineties saw a shift towards celebrating the people you’d move away from at a party. The cast of MTV’s Real World got progressively less sober, sluttier, and more self-involved. People had always admired the status of people on television, but now they were jealous of people who ...

Aurora Energy LLC and Corporate Privilege

Nov

8

2016

*This article is pretty long, that’s why it’s broken up into seven parts. The last part explains in detail how Aurora Energy is lying to the public about the toxins they’re exposing the city of Fairbanks to. PART I The Origin When I started writing this article I was seeking the answer to a simple ...

Why Isn’t Election Night More Violent?

Oct

27

2016

Presidential Election Day in America is not statistically more violent than the same day in non-election years. That’s troubling. I mean, it’s good that people don’t flip out and act crazy, but if the low voter turnout doesn’t doesn’t signify our apathy or that we’ve been beaten into submission, shouldn’t our docile and obedient nature on this day? ...

Rufus Gifford Jumps The Shark To Idiocracy

Oct

2

2016

Around the time Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for President of the United States, many of the clever and astute among us remarked that the 2006 film Idiocracy was in essence becoming reality. The movie’s theme is that of a dystopian future wherein people become hopelessly dependent on technology and the species regresses to the point that the ...

Demi Lovato And The Spin Game

Sep

19

2016

As a case study you can learn a lot about society from listening to Demi Lovato’s retarded musings on life. Lovato’s parents are white trash losers from New Mexico who thought it would be a good idea to let her drop out of junior high school to be molested by pederast hacky shit for brains ...

Magic Johnson is a Real Piece of Shit

Sep

17

2016

Magic Johnson always has a smile on his face. So do many sociopaths. It’s disarming yet extremely effective. It looks like a house routine. He belongs on a bottle of syrup. Magic Johnson is an activist. Because he got HIV. It doesn’t seem like he had much of a choice in the matter. I never ...

How Cool People Are By State Power Rankings 4

Aug

31

2016

Some states produce cooler people than others, so I’m issuing the definitive official rankings on the subject. These are not rankings of the states themselves, simply the value of the people who come from each state. Starting from worst to best: 50. New York – These people are just annoying. Constant chatter about baseball and pizza. ...

Melania Trump Worked As A Prostitute 122

Aug

23

2016

Melania Trump used to be a hooker, I know this from firsthand experience. She is denying this. It’s already been proven that Melania Trump is a liar. She lied about having graduated from college, which was a laughable claim as if models know how to read. She also plagiarized Michelle Obama’s speech and lied about ...

Derrick Gordon Is Great At Entitlement

Aug

21

2016

According to Derrick Gordon, he didn’t get a fair chance at trying out for the NBA because he’s gay. He forgot the part where he’s not good enough. If Ben Simmons had released a sex tape of himself getting barebacked by Charlie Sheen the week before the draft he’d have still been selected in the top ...