matt ralston

How to Re-Meet Friends and Alienate People

How do I state this without sounding creepy – well, when I have a genuine connection with someone (meaning that I enjoy hanging out with them), I immediately categorize them as a friend, whether I see them every day, or once a year. Like everyone, I have varying degrees of friends – but the basic ...

Some Pick-Up Line Suggestions 1

Everyone knows that the best way to meet hot singles is to approach them in bars and ask them creepy rhetorical questions like they do in 80’s movies. If you are too dumb to think of any yourself, here are some suggestions that I wrote: 1) “Hey, you wouldn’t by chance work as a contractor ...

Amazing Entrepreneurial Ideas Part II

I have so many amazing entrepreneurial ideas that I even amaze myself. Please message me if you are interested in investing (I don’t deal with sums less than one million U.S. dollars.) 1) Peanut Butter tubs. Can someone explain to me why peanut butter comes in that tall slender jar? Its hard to get the ...

All you Need to Know about LA Clubs 1

So, its Saturday night and you’re a douchebag who has no tangible social network – so its time to hit a club – but not just any club, an LA club. LA clubs have a lot to offer. Lines, overpriced drinks, various strains of herpes, and most of all utter disdain for you. In a ...

The Weirdest Thing That has Ever Happened.

The following is a true account of the weirdest thing that ever happened to me. This isn’t the most notable or exciting thing that has happened to me. Its just the weirdest. I went to visit my friend Cory in eastern Washington and we took a trip to Pullman. Home of Washington State University. And ...

The Worst Thing You Can Find in a Chick’s Apartment 7

So, you’ve been dating this girl, hanging out – whatever, and finally she invites you over to her house.  This is a rite of passage.  You get to see her natural habitat and make some serious judgements about her worth as a human being.  A quick glance will reveal quite a few things about her. ...