food Archives - Matt Ralston's Blog

The Bacon Thing Has Gone Too Far

Apr

3

2015

I recently saw this Big Az Bacon Addict cheeseburger in a glass case in the gas station and found it troubling. America is currently in the throes of an obesity epidemic and this food is being marketed to addicts. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms would not approve a whiskey called Booze Addict which purported ...

Why The Subway Sandwich Company Thinks Their Customers Are Stupid (And Are Probably Correct.) 1

Apr

1

2014

I’m not counting airports and truck stops, but if you live in an urban area and frequent Subway, you might be retarded. There is a family owned restaurant within a square mile that will give you a sandwich three times as good for one (1) additional dollar. That additional dollar comes into play despite the ...

Why I am Extorting an Independent Pizza Restaurant 10

Mar

24

2014

Why? Because I need to. And I am not extorting money. I am extorting pizza. Which, after checking with my lawyer, is perfectly legal. Here’s the deal, the other day, I bought a large pizza, which, in Los Angeles, runs you about thirty bucks. I picked it up, and this is what I got: Do ...

False Advertising for Dummies 2

Feb

28

2014

I saw this sign yesterday: It is advertising that you can Lose 20 pounds for 7 dollars. That sounded like a great deal! So I called the number and to my surprise, the brilliant ad-man who answered the phone was blatantly lying about the intentions of the sign! I must admit that I was a ...

My Yelp Guide to L.A. Restaurants. 1

Sep

26

2013

First of all, I am not the type to write negative reviews. Anyone who has seen my Yelp account knows that I enjoy dining out, and that I respect the hard working people of restaurant industry, however, I would rather starve to death than revisit the following despicable excuses for eateries. Literally. I would rather ...

People Made of Corn

Aug

14

2013

We all know that government corn subsidies are an unfounded and dangerous policy which has led to an abundance of cheap and nutritionally lacking food. How else would it be possible for a cheeseburger to cost 99 cents? Its because corn is used in nearly all ingredients of a fast-food burger. The beef – corn ...

Matt’s Hot Sauce Review

Jun

2

2013

I don’t know about you, but for me nothing enhances the flavor of a delicious dish more than a spicy hot sauce. Whether its pizza, pasta, Mexican or authentic sushi, a little Frank’s Red Hot or Louisiana Pepper Sauce really does the trick. But there are a lot of options. Below I break down the ...