Yesterday I was talking to a woman I know and she began listing the things she’d accomplished that day – went to the gym, had a healthy salad, got an oil change, and, wait for it… Did an hour of networking!
Networking? What did she mean by this, I asked. Apparently this accomplishment of involved going to a cocktail party and talking to a bunch of people.
In my opinion, this woman is a huge creep. Not because she actually did some networking – pretty much everyone has done a little schmoozing at some point and it is often a normal aspect of life. But the thing about networking is, you’re not really supposed to admit that you’re networking – because networking is supposed to make you feel kind of gross. If anything, you should be trying to convince yourself that what you’re doing isn’t networking – that you’d be going to that bar or that party anyway, and that you have no agenda other than hanging out and making some good conversation. Its certainly not something you should be bragging about – if you are that means you’re doing it wrong. Networking is a very subtle thing, and the right way to do it does not indicate that what you’re doing is networking. If everyone in the room knows that you are trying to do some social climbing or sell them makeup, or whatever it is that you’re trying to do – you have failed.
There are certain aspects of life that everyone is aware of but don’t really need to be acknowledged. Among them are the ingredients to hot dogs and the fact that Johnny Depp is probably a homosexual. But possibly the most comforting fact to ignore is that sometimes when you are talking to someone, and they’re being really nice to you, they don’t actually like you or care about you, they’re just trying to get something from you in a strategic fashion. Nobody wants to think about this. So stop talking about it.
Because, whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re ruining the party.