CNN is an embarrassment to humanity. Why you would possibly think that CNN, owned by Time Warner Inc., the world’s largest media conglomerate, would possibly have any incentive to provide anything but pro-corporate drivel is beyond me.
I can’t watch CNN because I respect myself, but I’ve obviously been exposed to it from time to time, and the following snippets are enough to prove to me that CNN is a fucking joke.
So, I’m watching CNN one day, and Soledad O’Brien suddenly launches into some breaking news about the fact that the board game Monopoly is CONSIDERING DROPPING ONE OF IT’S GAME-PIECES! You know, they have the top-hat, the iron, the syringe or whatever.
Hmm, my first question was:
Why the fuck is this on the news? On a day where economies are crumbling, where the Supreme Court is debating legislation that would effectively end democracy by counting corporations as people, and notable Senators are saying that birth control should be illegal and there are TWO FUCKING WARS GOING and WHAT THE FUCK?
So I snapped out of that, did a little googling. It took five minutes and went like this:
Time Warner Inc. owns CNN.
It also owns Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. which is a movie studio.
At the time of this “report” Warner Bros. was in a bidding war to acquire the rights to a few movies, see…
Hasbro is a company that makes toys and board games. They also license out the likenesses of their toys and board games to be made into awful films which sell more toys, like G.I. Joe, and Transformers.
Well, at the time of this report Hasbro was licensing the rights to make a package of movies out of some of their board games – among these obviously shitty films are: Hungry Hungry Hippos, Candy Land, and… Monopoly.
CNN is using their shitty viewers to help them sell more of their shitty shit to their shitty viewers.
This blog could go on for another 20,000 words describing this web of corporate bullshit but I’ll just leave it at that.
Another thing that happened:
I’m watching Skyfall the new James Bond movie. Not bad. In the middle of the film there is a news-report that explains some of the plot. So, the guy delivering the TV news on the TV in the movie is… Wolf Fuckin’ Blitzer.
Am I the only one who finds this bizarre? Should I just start walking around town and mumbling to myself right now, because I don’t think I’m getting through here…
Wolf Blitzer! The guy who reports about the Taliban decapitating women is playing himself in a cheesy Bond movie with the same quasi-confused yet frantically retarded look on his face that he has in his newscasts.
On IMDB he’s listed in the credits as… “CNN News Anchor”
Wait, what the fuck?
So CNN is reporting on things that aren’t true, in movies, which aren’t real?
I’m going to pick up in Part II as to why this is astonishingly troubling.