Pretty much everyday, some straight guy will say something insensitive or poorly phrased regarding minorities or gay people, the media will pick up on it, the guy will issue an apology from a template he found on Quicken, and the scandal which effected nobody will blow over.
Often times, the guy who said the insensitive comment, usually a joke which was lost on someone with weird hair, will attempt to defend himself by saying,
Look, I didn’t mean to be racist – I actually have black friends.
And Jesse Jackson will say,
It doesn’t matter if you have black friends. Having black friends doesn’t give you an excuse to go around saying whatever you want. It is irrelevant.
Now, I agree that having friends of various demographics shouldn’t allow you to spew hatred with impunity. This isn’t a Catholic Church type of situation where a person can live a horrifying life of greed, inflicting harm on whomever he sees fit in the name of money, confess to a pedophile the day before he dies, and be forgiven. There certainly shouldn’t be any Get Out of Hell Free cards.
But, does it really not matter at all?
The most applicable example I can think of is Fuzzy Zoeller, an older fat man considered by some to be an athlete, who famously joked that Tiger Woods, being half black, probably enjoys fried chicken. Zoeller was instantly vilified, lost a bunch of sponsors, and was ironically condemned by the morbidly obese Oprah Winfrey, who obviously likes soul food.
So, not to state the obvious, but black people do love fried chicken. Everybody knows this. It’s no more insulting, although equally accurate, to state that Mexican people love tacos and Italians like to self-indulgently talk to you about pizza while you nervously try to exit the conversation.
Zoeller issued an apology, claiming that he wasn’t a racist and that he happened to be close friends with many black people with whom he’d joked around in similar fashion. However, it was insisted by Jesse Jackson that the latter was not an excuse.
I’m not saying it’s an automatic excuse, but isn’t it definitely relevant?
Let’s say two separate people make the exact same fried chicken joke. The first is an orange grove farmer from Savannah who carries his KKK card, and constantly talks about how the Nazis had some good ideas. He travels with a suitcase full of assault weapons, vacationing as a Minuteman on the Arizona border.
The second is a homosexual midget who lives in a Planned Parenthood in the Castro, and works as a sports agent for WNBA players.
This doesn’t make a difference?
I’m pretty sure it does.
So, insert whatever insensitive remark here – but you have to look at the person, and their intention, when these things happen. Blindly condemning isn’t really a smart strategy.