I’ve recently come into contact with several people in their thirties who openly proclaim that they “don’t carry cash.”
Allow me to explain something to you people: You’re annoying.
At worst, I think many of these people are freeloaders and have concocted this plan to save money. Not having cash means that at some point someone is going to have to give you cash, and the rate of this cash being reimbursed I’m estimating at forty five percent.
This means that if you’re one of these people who “doesn’t carry cash” that, the small loans and favors, dispersed among everyone that you socialize with, will likely add up to a thousand or so dollars per year.
I have a friend, who is a weird scheming asshole, and every time we are out picking up lunch or something, he claims to have forgotten his wallet.
This guy is a pothead who has likely damaged the part of his brain responsible for things like this, but I know he isn’t forgetting his wallet. He is leaving his wallet on purpose in the hopes that I will buy him food.
I’m not saying all of the people who “don’t carry cash” are strategically not doing it in the name of saving money, indeed I think most are not, but a certain unknown percentage of these people are doing exactly that.
As an urban dwelling adult, you must know, on some level, that you are going to need cash for certain things. Some of these things include:
Paying to park in a parking lot at say, a football game.
Paying for a slice of pizza or a bowl of curry at a super weird “Cash Only” restaurant, of which many still exist. Indeed, most food trucks and parking lot taco stands are “Cash Only” because processing credit cards proves difficult from a street corner. If you “don’t carry cash” are you going to tell me you’ve never eaten a hot dog from a street meat vendor? Oh, you have. You just didn’t pay for it. I did.
Throwing five dollars into the tip jar of an especially charming bartender at say, a wedding or banquet or wine mixer or charity event, or whatever it may be.
Placing a bet on a game in Las Vegas.
Paying the door cover at a music venue, or a bar that is showing the fights, or a comedy show, or a strip club, or a street festival or swap meet or street fair or any number of places that people who “don’t carry cash” still somehow attend on a regular basis.
Paying for a bottle of water at a park when it is 108 degrees outside.
Paying for a six pack of beer at an incredibly shady Tijuana convenience store where allowing them access to you credit or debit card information would mean that you’re a fucking retard.
Toll booths on the highways.
Establishments such as many bars or stores or eateries which have a clearly posted 15 Dollar Minimum posted directly in your line of sight.
There are many other examples as well, but there’s also this:
You look cooler paying for something with cash than you do holding your stupid debit card out like a trained monkey, waiting for the machine to work, and not knowing whether to swipe it or insert the chip.
The whole thing is clearly a drain on society and wastes countless man hours every single day. If you’re buying a flatscreen, obviously a credit card is more than acceptable. If you’re buying a bean burrito, maybe it’s not.
In fact I watched one of the employees at Rite Aid buy a miniature bag of Cheetos while on his break and pay with a debit card and became depressed for several hours. Not to mention, why did he not steal them? What a jackass.
The point is, you need cash for certain things. And if you don’t have it, you’re depending on someone else to have it. And you shouldn’t be dependent on other people. Especially if you’re a guy. It’s unattractive to women. It signifies that you are not capable of being a provider and literally don’t have two nickels to rub together, and no, I don’t want you to Venmo me the money for the rickshaw ride so that the entire world can see with documented proof, cached forever on the internet, that I’m as lame as you are.
Just get some cash.