This has only happened once in professional sports. WNBA power forwards Britney Griner and Glory Johnson married each other, then got into a domestic dispute, were both arrested for domestic violence, and then played a game against each other afterwords.
There has never been another instance of married, or divorced for that matter, people competing against each other in professional sports.
This happened.
It was a game.
These are the very unexciting highlights of the game:
You can’t watch the full game unless you purchase WNBA League Pass, which, without hyperbole, I don’t think anyone has ever done.
And people have done some weird shit.
This is an unprecedented occurrence.
Not only did these two athletes get married, and then both get arrested for a domestic violence incident (meaning the cops were like, we have no idea what’s going on here, let’s cover all of our bases), but it was an incredibly icky breakup. Britney Griner sued to have the marriage annulled because Glory Johnson cheated on her during the marriage, with her ex-boyfriend.
So much drama.
Compounding the situation, they both play the same position, and both of their teams were perennial playoff contenders.
I don’t understand why this game did not receive national media attention.
You know how it’s fun to watch Golden State play Oklahoma City because Russell Westbrook holds a personal grudge against Kevin Durant and you want to see how he’s going to act on it?
How Larry Bird and Magic Johnson seemed to relish sticking it to each other like no other opponent?
Imagine if they were formerly married, had fucked a bunch of times, Larry Bird cheated on Magic Johnson with Charles Barkley, they were both arrested for beating the shit out of each other, and then had to guard each other in a game.
Normally, this would be must see TV.
I’ll tell you what happened.
The game went into double overtime.
It took place on June 18th of the year 2016.
Neither Glory Johnson or Britney Griner had a standout game.
For the season, Johnson was averaging 11.3 points per game, and 8.9 rebounds per game for the Dallas Wings.
Britney Griner, who stands 6 feet and nine inches tall, was averaging 11 points and 9 rebounds per game.
So, nearly exact statistics.
Both players would go on to make the WNBA All-Star game this season.
Also, they fucked.
If Steve Nash had fucked Robert Horry, and then they both got arrested and then Robert Horry sued Steve Nash, it would be fascinating television.
This is the WNBA, so nobody cared.
I looked at the box score.
This night, Glory Johnson had 15 points and 10 rebounds.
Britney Griner had 11 points and 9 rebounds, and, likely on purpose, fouled out of the game.
I am not one to make fun of people’s names, but it should be mentioned that the highest scoring player in the game, DeWanna Bonner, had 39 points.
So neither player made much of a statement.
Since the game went into double overtime, you would think that, if anything, their stats would be more impressive.
Prior to the game, Glory Johnson was asked about whether or not there would be tension during the game, since, they had a really messy divorce and Britney Griner had subsequently sued Glory Johnson to annul the marriage because Glory Johnson cheated on her with a gay guy and they then beat the shit out of each other and were both arrested and they play the same position and Johnson said this:
“You know in the back of your mind that that’s still there. In the end of the day [sic] even when we were engaged, I was still playing as aggressive as I do now and still plan on being aggressive. It’s going to be an aggressive game. I don’t know that I’ll be guarding her or she’ll be guarding me. But if that does happen that will be the fun part… You can’t help who you care about and help who you marry. At the end of the day, everything happens for a reason.”
It’s very impressive that Glory Johnson was able to pack 87 cliches into 2 sentences. Also, her name is Glory? Really?
But, at the end of the day, the whole thing was anticlimactic.
Here is what I think:
If Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant had fucked, gotten married, gotten divorced, and then Kevin Durant was so butt hurt about it (him being the bottom obviously) that he then sued Russell Westbrook to annul the marriage, and they had been simultaneously arrested for beating the shit out of each other in this aftermath, and then played against each other a few months later, Westbrook would have scored about 123 points and had 45 rebounds. Durant would have scored 234 points and had 17 rebounds.
This is why nobody should ever watch women’s basketball.
*There aren’t any photos on this post because every single photo of both Glory Johnson and Britney Griner has been flagged somehow, I’m not sure how that works, but I will follow up on it. I suspect they have really good lawyers.
Here is a link to their wedding photos which they sold to People Magazine for an undisclosed sum of money while they were in love.