April 2013 - Matt Ralston's Blog

How the Crumbling of American Society has Effected the NBA’s Style of Play 3

Apr

24

2013

As I have outlined earlier, Americans, particularly my generation and younger, have grown increasingly narcissistic over the past several decades. Studies have routinely shown that, given complex questionnaires, people increasingly see themselves as more important than anyone else. Even if they’re fat and stupid. There are a lot of reasons behind this. The self esteem movement ...

Hipsters Have Ruined American Films

Apr

23

2013

Rarely do I see a movie so bad that it inspires me to do anything but walk out of it. But last night I saw The Place Beyond the Pines and was so mesmerized at how terrible it is that I actually had to sit all the way through it. I don’t have time to review ...

Why You and Your Dog can F Yourselves. 1

Apr

21

2013

I recently had lunch with a very good friend of mine. She’s a vegan. I think you can do the math and realize that she had a displaced attachment to fluffy animals and isn’t just doing it for the iron deficiency. So, first thing she tells me is that she adopted a new dog. Do ...

The Biggest Loser Moves I’ve Ever Seen Part I

Apr

20

2013

The following are true accounts of people that I have known, and mostly hated, being complete losers. Much how making out with your frat-brother at that one drunken party makes you a permanent homosexual regardless of how many toddlers you have, or blowing a guy who paid your rent for a month makes you a ...

How Creepy is the Pledge of Allegiance? 2

Apr

18

2013

As freedom loving Americans, we all know that nobody is as free as we are. We can do whatever we want, except for a bunch of things that are illegal. But that doesn’t matter, we still know that America is The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave. How do we know this? ...

Why CNN is a Joke Part II 1

Apr

18

2013

As explained in Part I, CNN is a fucking joke that should only be watched if you want to giggle at something ridiculous and run out of Nazi porn. So, where I left off – Wolf Blitzer is in the film Skyfall playing himself as “CNN News Anchor.” Why is this troubling? Well, Blitzer is supposed to ...

Why CNN is a Joke Part I

Apr

18

2013

CNN is an embarrassment to humanity. Why you would possibly think that CNN, owned by Time Warner Inc., the world’s largest media conglomerate, would possibly have any incentive to provide anything but pro-corporate drivel is beyond me. I can’t watch CNN because I respect myself, but I’ve obviously been exposed to it from time to time, and ...

The Worst I’ve Ever Been Dissed

Apr

16

2013

While I was attending my university, I would frequently partake in late night cafeteria visits. The late night menu was much more limited than during the day, and so there were only like six items you could order. They had chicken strips, french fries, egg rolls, and some kind of asian beef and rice. So, ...

Valet Service is more than Annoying. It’s Ruining Los Angeles 3

Apr

13

2013

Before I moved to L.A. I thought of valet service the way that any self-respecting adult would which can be summed up as: “Why can’t people park their own fucking car?” I’m still asking myself that question. Now, of course I use valet. I have no choice sometimes. Regardless, here are the top reasons that ...

How Permissive Parenting is Ruining Society

Apr

11

2013

Permissive Parenting is one of the three types of parenting originally identified by psychologist Diana Baumrind. It is essentially defined as being a friend of the child more than a parent. It is traditionally considered a really fucked up way to raise a kid. I personally think it is now standard and reflects a growing pervasiveness of narcissism in ...