Racist People Gravitate Towards Football 6

New York Giants v San Diego Chargers

Last year I wrote an article abuot how its a strange coincidence the NFL is 67 percent black, and its most prestigious position, quarterback, is 79 percent white. Its one of those elephants in the room I find hard to ignore. Particularly when my mind is wandering during a six hour blowout. Statistically this is an outlier not seen since Noah was able to get all those different species of animal onto a big ass boat. There must be an explanation right?

My theory was, and remains, that many people are inherently racist, particularly in the South where football is a religion, and religion is also a religion. I figured a lot of dumb redneck coaches maintain a healthy skepticism of racial equality, and in particular figure black kids are too dense to learn a position which entails memorizing some stuff.

The feedback was baffling. When you write an article theorizing subconscious racism the last thing you expect is a bunch of seemingly well intentioned people to write you and with all apparent sincerity spew a ton of racist shit which they don’t even consider racist. I theorize most of these racist replies are the least racist thing the people who wrote them have ever said. I am not including the probable trolling and hate speech I received because I don’t think it serves any purpose. A typical example of what I’m getting at is this:

“The offensive schemes (and playbook) at the high school and college level are pretty simple. They’re grossly simple when compared to those of the NFL. There are many QBs, white and black, who simply cannot make that transition from pretty much having a few running and passing plays, to having multiple sets, formations, and plays. It can be overwhelming, and is for most of the black Qbs.”

Outside of such circuitously fucked up wisdom, an overwhelming majority of people just attacked me as being a racist because I mentioned the subject. Its the same reasoning that makes me a homosexual because I sang karaoke at a gay bar last February. Basically its just something stupid people do. Karaoke that is. Also stupid people apparently coach football. I was not so aware. Conventional reasoning led me to be the racist in a room full of racist people. The prototypical response:

“So you are saying blacks are superior to whites….. but yet YOU are not racist ?”

I’m not going to get into the whole thing about how black people are better athletes than white people. Just take a look around and call it a day. Quarterback is an interesting quandary since it is hands down the most important position in all of sports.

To expound, I don’t think racism is exhibited in professional basketball even though the NBA is 80 percent black. Were the position of point guard to be 80 percent white, I might think something was fishy. This analogy is far less ridiculous than the actual NFL demographics.

I don’t know what I expected in response, but sometimes its good to know when you’re right even if it proves that society is by and large really fucked up and full of racist jerks. It was recently brought to my attention that there is not a single white guy in the NFL who plays secondary. Its basically the same position as wide receiver, except generally receivers are considered to be more heady and use ecstasy instead of crack rocks, like gentlemen.

It doesn’t surprise me that such archaic notions exist in an archaic sport which probably explains this whole road rage phenomenon. Football is still a game of the old guard. Those who talk about the good old days before helmets and desegregation. And people who have the balls to call a guy racist for talking about racism. Luckily football will be dead soon along with these old jarhead crackers douchebag fans of it.

Go Hawks!


Matt Ralston is a comedian and writer based in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewRalston

6 thoughts on “Racist People Gravitate Towards Football

  1. Reply You're racist Oct 16,2014 10:09 pm

    I just read the whole blog. Literally when every person is saying youre wrong, there comes point for you to realize maybe you really are wrong. Every rebuttal you made was “you’re racist/you”re wrong”. Your response to every persons opinion was outright pathetic and racist. Some peoples opinion may have been racist, but some were legitimate reasons. However, if anyone voiced an opinion different from yours, you pull out the race card.

    It pains me to see that youre a bandwagon seahawks fan

    • Reply Matt Ralston Oct 17,2014 12:19 am

      I never heard any reasonable arguments as to why there would be such a discrepancy at the one position. Most of the responses were racist. I just never heard a good explanation, and you aren’t offering one either. Hence my only conclusion is I was right in the first place and a culture of subconscious white mental supremacy exists in football. Go Hawks! Their QB is not white by the way.

  2. Reply Rusty Shackleford Oct 19,2014 10:06 pm

    Do we really need get into the whole thing about how white people are more intelligent than black people? Just look take a look around and call it a day. Perhaps the disparities in intelligence between the black and white races on average explain the racial disparities at the quarterback position.

    • Reply Matt Ralston Oct 19,2014 10:28 pm

      Or this attitude.

    • Reply Caroline Nov 11,2014 5:19 pm

      I wonder how you can tell that “disparities in intelligence between the black and white races” even exist. That is obviously only an assumption made by you and people who think like you. Case in point: Look at the obvious intelligence quotient between Pres. GWB and Pres. Obama. Huge gap there on the black president’s side, wouldn’t you say? One more: Look at the obvious intelligence quotient between people who keep voting Republican even though Republicans when in office do nothing but work to destroy the poor and middle classes, the country and the world, while Democrats have created all the saving graces for Americans such as Social Security, Medicare, environmental protections (such as they are)and healthcare, to name just a very few. Black people, as a group, are way too intelligent to ever vote for a Republican. Your assumption that whites as a group are more intelligent than blacks as a group is shared by many people who think just like you, but it is clearly a misplaced assumption and something that needs rethinking on your part.

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