April 2013 - Page 2 of 2 - Matt Ralston's Blog

The Grossest Thing I’ve Ever Seen Part 1

Apr

7

2013

This is the grossest thing I have ever seen happen. I was hanging out in Hollywood at the Burgundy Room. All the dudes there are constantly dressed up like punk rockers. I frankly don’t respect any adult man who purchases accessories other than ketchup. I don’t honestly know where you go to buy studded belts ...

Gun Arguments and Why they’re Stupid

Apr

5

2013

Americans have been dying from guns by the droves for a long time. This fact didn’t really resonate with White America, however, until white people started being killed by the masses in public places. I call this the Cedric Ceballos Effect. Ceballos was a pretty good player who would occasionally erupt for fifty-point games. He’s still ...

Why NBA Contracts Encourage Players to be Assholes

Apr

5

2013

NBA contracts are real annoying. The NBA has fewer players on each team than any other league in professional sports besides golf, which has hundreds of fat loners. Consequently NBA contracts boast perks not seen in other sports, and the worst of these is the mandatory guarantee clause – which is what the blue-collar sector would know as workmen’s comp ...

Amazing Entrepreneurial Ideas Part II

Apr

2

2013

I have so many amazing entrepreneurial ideas that I even amaze myself. Please message me if you are interested in investing (I don’t deal with sums less than one million U.S. dollars.) 1) Peanut Butter tubs. Can someone explain to me why peanut butter comes in that tall slender jar? Its hard to get the ...