Why I hope that every C.E.O. on Undercover Boss is Hit by a Train 1

Undercover Boss is arguably the most offensive thing I have ever seen. And I’ve seen Toby Keith.

Here’s how the show works: The C.E.O. of a major company pointlessly and self-indulgently puts on a wig or something and goes undercover because we all know that the garbage-men employed by Waste Management know exactly what the drab, nondescript middle-aged bald C.E.O. of their company looks like, right? Are you calling me a moron? Okay, got it. 

Then a crew tapes the boss interacting with people as they work a menial job associated with the company. This gives the show an air of trashy and lame reality television. It is explained to the audience that the employees are lied to and told that the film crew is there to tape a promotional piece, so that they are not suspicious of the fact that there is a giant film crew unconscionably interested in documenting them earn 7 dollars an hour.

It is not explained to the audience that most of the employees seem like really shitty actors that they cast – however I can neither confirm or deny that.

Then, the C.E.O. does a self-aggrandizing speech about themselves and their company – framing said company in a much better light than, say, anyone else in the world would.

Then, the C.E.O. pauses and reflects on how they were able to actually get paid to get an hour of free advertising on ABC, during prime time, for their company.

Then, the C.E.O. interacts with some of the employees of the company – and finds out – apparently for the first time – that people’s lives suck.

The C.E.O. is then documented focussing on one particular hard luck story – usually someone who made a bad decision regarding procreation – and he  goes to their disgusting house and appears to reflect on how hard it is to support a family on the wages that his company pays.

It is not explained why the poor people involved don’t find it strange that they are being videotaped.

Then – this is the best part – the C.E.O. makes some sort of donation to the family of said poor person to improve their life – but DOES NOT CHANGE THE PAY POLICY OF THE COMPANY.

So the C.E.O. is basically admitting that they are only helping the one poor person because it is being broadcast on television, and that they don’t care about people, they care about appearing to be perceived as caring about people, because if they really cared about people, they’d want to help out all of their employees – not just the random one they stumbled upon in their quest for self-promotion.

The ratio of C.E.O. vs. worker pay has increased ONE THOUSAND percent since 1950.

Excuse my language, but if these cocksuckers feel the need to pay themselves exorbitant salaries and attempt to convince themselves that they are good people by helping out an insignificant percentage of their employees – not anonymously, but on television by the way – shouldn’t they feel a bit weird about not standing in front of a train and just letting it run them over?